Since being on Twitter, I have had the honour of being in contact with an incredibly intelligent, gifted and empathic man, who suffered so greatly as a child – at the hands of his own family. He has several diagnoses as a result – Schizoaffective Disorder, PTSD, PD (NOS) and Tourette’s.
He is a successful author, artist – amongst many talents – and is well known for his mental health advocacy work and has a huge following,
He suffered considerably as a child. His family are very rich and very well known in US. They are invested (own) in one of the most prestigious universities in US and have a huge business conglomerate. They are powerful people. They wanted the abuse kept silenced, and did all they could to ensure that. And this survivor – locked in by legalities – lives far away from his family, who claim he is lying about the abuse. But they own where he lives and even have control over his professional support. Money is power and power can be abused to harm people, control people.
This survivor, as well as surviving all the child abuse, alcohol and drug rehab, many hospitalisations, numerous suicide attempts, and several mental health disorders, also has survived cancer twice.
Now the cancer has returned and he has stated he is not seeking treatment. He wishes to die. A ‘legal suicide’ he views it as, and due to how unwell he has been, this is his decision.
It breaks my heart. Tears as I write this.
I want to get on a plane and go and see him. Sit with him and talk with him. Tell him – to me and many – his life is worth living. He is so gifted and talented and the world is a better place for him being in it.
But, I also understand, that no matter what I could say, it doesn’t take that deep pain away. That deep inner torment. That state of having given up. That belief and lack of hope, believing that it isn’t going to get any better and life is too painful. And more cancer, is just too much to bear.
I can empathise that he may just simply, but profoundly, needs the deep pain and all the suffering….. to stop.