Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

“All parents just do their best”. Bullshit. Some intentionally harm and abuse their children.


I hate that expression ‘all parents just do their best’. Just read this on Twitter, and it’s really upset me.

So wrong and completely minimizes child abuse and makes excuses for abusers.

My ‘parents’ did not fucking ‘try their best’ at all.

They intentionally harmed me, daily. They knew what they were doing was wrong, because they hid it, lied about it and made me keep quiet about it.

I hate abuse being minimized, justified and excused.

Really, really upsets me, and I know this attitude upsets others.

And I know people who make these statements don’t mean to cause harm, but they do.

A lot of abuse in this world, is intentional. The perpetrators do know it is wrong, and they do it anyway, because they don’t care about the harm and suffering it causes.

My childhood was horrific, and in no way could anyone ever deem that my mother and step father ‘did their best’.

Invalidation, minimizing the suffering of abuse victims, excusing abusers deliberate harm…….. I cannot cope with.


Author: Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

I am a survivor of complex and multiple trauma and abuse, who at the age of 40, began my healing journey. I am using my journey to recovery and healing, to help others, to help survivors feel less alone, validated, encouraged and to enable others to understand themselves more. Complex trauma, particularly from severe, prolonged childhood abuse, is profoundly life changing. Complex trauma produces complex adults. The journey to recovery is a painful, often lonely, emotional daily challenge and it is my aim to encourage others in their daily battle. ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

3 thoughts on ““All parents just do their best”. Bullshit. Some intentionally harm and abuse their children.

  1. Reblogged this on Passion's Invocation.

  2. totally with you on this one! the last time someone told me that my parents did their best, I flew into a rage – it was my cousin who herself has gone through a lot, but is nowhere near being able to fully face how she too was abused and traumatized.

    but at least i stopped her in her tracks with my retort, “no, that’s not true! Abusing your children is never the best a person can do!” — just as I myself have not and do not always do the best I can either! What a cop out! and it perpetuates folks being let off the hook for their crimes against their children, as well it keeps the victim/survivors also from really fully feeling, healing and dealing!