There is a really big demand within church people and within secular society, to not ‘judge’ anyone. And those who do ‘judge’ abusers, are deemed to be wrong.
My abusers all intentionally abused me. It was planned, deliberate, repeated abuse. They hid it, lied about it, denied it and tried their best to silence me. They made me suffer considerably.
The term ‘judgment’ gets a bad rap. Especially for church people who use that term for anything negative said about anyone, which is bizarre.
Judging someone, is not saying you are condemning them. It does not imply you are wanting bad to happen to them. It does not imply you want them to suffer back. It does not imply you are hating them.
It is simply saying ‘what you did was wrong, the acts of abuse you made decisions and choices to commit – are evil. I did not deserve them and you harmed me greatly. You chose to make me suffer and you didn’t care. You showed no remorse, no empathy and you enjoyed it. And that is disgusting. I don’t have to like you, or want you in my life, or make excuses for you, or minimize what you did.’
There is nothing wrong with this.