I accept that my life has created considerable suffering, pain, and all the emotions that go with that. I accept I will be dealing with complex trauma and all the profound consequences, all my life. I accept I don’t have what is needed to heal all the severe childhood complex trauma – as I don’t have healing, safe, trustworthy, caring relationships. I accept I suffer the many consequences of severe childhood complex trauma; depression, deep grieving, life impacting fear.
I also accept as a result of this, I will never be ‘good enough’ for many. By their standards, for their needs.
I am not positive ‘enough’.
I am not healed ‘enough’.
I am not hopeful ‘enough’.
I am not most people’s version of a ‘strong warrior survivor’ – I don’t meet this criterion ‘enough’.
I don’t talk about life as all good, all amazing, all wonderful ‘enough’.
I am not what other people demand and expect ‘enough’.
I don’t fake it ‘enough’.
I don’t pretend things are better than they are ‘enough’.
I don’t barf up happiness ‘enough’.
I don’t follow along with this delusion that abuse ‘is not that bad’ ‘enough’.
I could go on, but even the list, would not be ‘good enough’.
The reality is, all that is what ‘other people’ demand, for their lives. And is nothing to do with me.
The question is, how do I deal with this?
By staying away from people who will always tell me I am not ‘good enough’.
~ Lilly Hope Lucario
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