I accept my brain is wired for fear. I’ve accepted this has been my ‘normal’ all my life and this fear has intensified and compounded through every trauma, every abuse, every hurt and harm caused to me. I feel deeply sad that I have known fear and anxiety since I can ever remember and probably before that.
Yesterday was a bizarre day. It was a good day and surprising things happened, that gave me hope yesterday.
Today, all I feel is anxiety, fear and apprehension about it. This is how much fear is within me. Fear of people.
There’s a part of me saying “What the hell are you doing? Have you not been hurt enough by people? Do you not ever learn? Why do you keep doing this to yourself? Just stay the hell away from people!“