Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.


Counselling tomorrow, and dreading it. I am meant to talk about my mother.

I don’t want to talk about my ‘mother’.

She wasn’t a mother.

Mother’s don’t set you up to abused by paedophiles.

Mothers don’t abuse you every day of your childhood.

Mothers don’t shame you and abuse you more by saying you are a drama queen when you try to end your life as a teenager. Suicidal due to so much abuse, sexual abuse and severe depression.

Mothers don’t throw you out on the street in the freezing cold, when you are having a miscarriage and not speak to you for months – not even caring whether you lost the baby or not.

I could on with her list of abuse, but I would be here all night.

What is there to talk about? Continue reading

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The abuse at the ‘Sisters Of Mercy’ Neerkol Orphanage makes me sob. Heartbreaking.


This is evil. Nothing less than evil.

Sick, disgusting, depraved monsters, parading around as ‘Christians’.

Makes me feel sick to know what these poor children endured.

How those nuns could know what was going on and do nothing, is despicable. Continue reading

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Being mindful of my physical health, without placing any demands or expectations on myself.

I am trying to be mindful of my physical health, without putting expectations on myself, because whenever I can’t keep to those expectations, I feel like a failure and weak.

So, I now have a ‘when I can do XYZ, I do….. when I can’t, I don’t’ attitude.

It creates less shame and less critical self talk.

It is an act of self compassion to not impose inappropriate expectations on myself. Continue reading

Received another kind request, to become an ‘expert blogger’ on a website.

This morning, I received an email inviting me to become an expert blogger, on a website, with other experts – most of whom are professionals.

It is very validating to know others consider me and this blog – which I realise is a success by it’s stats – worth  considering an expert and all the many requests I have received to become a blogger for others. Continue reading


I have realised – no-one else’s opinion of me and my life, actually matters.


I have come to realise, unless someone has walked through all the abuse and trauma I have endured, has the insight into abuse and abusers I have as a result of that life experience ……….. their opinion is worthless.

It has always interested me how people who have not endured the amount of abuse, the severity of abuse I have, consider themselves worthy of an opinion – when they do not even know how it feels to endure it all, and do not have the insight all that brings. Continue reading