Always good to see professionals and experts confirming and validating just how damaging these personality disordered caregivers are and validating the profound effect their abuse has on their children and the adults they become.
From the article…
Because the narcissistic parent-child bond was so distorted and corrupt, the offspring as adults tend to gravitate toward drama-laden, roller-coaster relationships – especially with romantic partners.
Because they didn’t grow up with the belief that they were intrinsically okay and good, it makes perfect sense that these individuals would gravitate toward stormy romantic partners later.
These adults would feel like a fish out of water in a relationship with someone who loved them consistently, and the experience would be so unfamiliar that it would cause major anxiety.
Accordingly, these individuals tend to seek out partners who are emotionally unavailable, critical or withholding – just like Mommy and/or Daddy was in the past.
In short, the only kind of relationship the adult child of a narcissist really fits in with is one with a highly skewed dynamic:
The child of the narcissist must cater to and keep their partner happy, even when that involves squashing her own needs and feelings.
This is very true of my life.
I don’t know what it feels like to be loved by a healthy person, I’ve never experienced it.
And I do know that healthy relationships are required to heal complex trauma and so I accept that as I don’t have this, this will continue to impact my life.