It has become socially demanded, that society view all trauma as equal and all suffering all equal. Which is not what trauma experts, sociologists, or neuroscientists say at all.
But many people like to give opinions that is simply that – an opinion, often for self motivated reasons.
It is a deep lack of empathy and a complete lack of understanding how different trauma affects the brain and psyche, to suggest all trauma is equal.
You cannot compare a one time short lived trauma in adulthood, to severe ongoing child abuse.
You cannot compare a one time sexual assault to an adult, to years of incest/rape to a child.
You cannot compare a car crash survivor/medical trauma victim… to a survivor of severe child abuse, severe complex trauma, severe interpersonal trauma.
You cannot compare the journey of someone who has good, compassionate support, to someone who has little, or none.
These are just a few examples.
The effects of these are dramatically different, in severity of suffering and severity of the impact to the victim, and the prognosis for full recovery.
Yet people minimize and invalidate more severe trauma all the time.
I choose to validate the greater suffering of complex trauma, because it is needed.
Survivors of complex trauma have deeply suffered enough over prolonged periods of time and continue to suffer when their suffering is minimized and invalidated by comparing it to less severe, less impacting trauma.
I choose to listen to the experts about trauma, not the opinions of non experts.
Complex trauma survivors have been invalidated for too long, and this needs to stop.
Generalising, minimizing and invalidating, cause further suffering.
We all need equal compassion, but that does not mean we should be demanding all trauma is equal, because that is a lie.
And anyone who wishes to minimize my suffering as a severe, multiple complex trauma survivor who has survived horrific levels of every kind of abuse, is not welcome in my life.