I have had soft boundaries all my life. It comes with the territory of being a severe child abuse survivor, who’s parents were abusive. I didn’t learn boundaries, or how to protect myself adequately.
Unhealthy/dysfunctional people, people who wish minimize my trauma, people who project their own issues – are not people I need to be around. As much as I understand they have issues, they cannot be causing harm to my healing and my wellbeing. I am not a counsellor. I don’t deserve any more harm.
And I do not have to explain this, or justify this, to anyone. If I need to remove people from my life, I will. If I need to tell someone who is in my life – they are harming me, I will.
My healing and my capacity to cope, affects my parenting and my children are my No 1 priority, not people on the internet.
I need to look after myself and my healing, my wellbeing, because I need to parent to my fullest capacity and my children deserve this from me. So anyone who stands in the way of that, anyone who harms my healing – intentionally or unintentionally – cannot remain in my life.
I need to block out other people’s opinions and issues, because I cannot emotionally afford to be affected by them.
Boundaries are vital and in order to continue any healing, parent as best I can and be providing info on the internet for others……. my boundaries need to be firm.
I owe no-one an explanation or justification for that.
I need to be assertive and I need to protect my healing.