Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.


8 Comments

Therapists should not shut down a complex trauma survivor.

Safety and trust, are the two biggest issues of any complex trauma survivor.

In order for a complex trauma survivor to feel ‘safe enough’ in therapy – they need to know they are being listened to, are being allowed to speak, are being allowed to express all their needed emotions.

As Pete Walker wrote in his book – when you add anything around the subject of compassion for abusers, forgiveness for abusers, too soon in the therapy, it will destroy that survivors trust and deeply harm their healing. Much work is to be done before these subjects should even be raised.

I will also add to this – if a counsellor tells a survivor they are wrong with how they feel about abusers, wrong in how they are trying to deal with their emotions about their abusers (in my case labelling, educating myself about personality disorders), patronises, demeans, rejects their views/thoughts  – that will destroy any trust and safety they need and harm their healing.

Complex trauma survivors have had their emotions, needs and feelings shut down continually by the abusers. So when a therapist also repeats this, the damage will be great. It will destroy any trust, as the survivor will feel unsafe.

Therapists need to learn to keep their opinions to themselves, until the survivor has dealt with all their emotions. Yes, help them deal with emotions safely, but do not create barriers to them expressing their emotions.

You don’t help a complex trauma survivor, by mirroring what the abusers did Continue reading


11 Comments

I don’t have ‘depression’ – I have suppressed deep pain/hurt/anger & considerable intense grieving.

I have been through hell and I am not going to minimize that for the comfort of others. I need to deal with my past fully and yet there are obstacles to do that.

I am only too aware of the damage that suppressing and minimizing trauma causes. And yet I am still suppressing my emotions about the first 20 years of my life. I am suppressing them, and internalising it into depression, because I have no-one in my life who can help me deal with it. And I realise I cannot do that on my own.

I am aware I need to talk it through and express every bit of pain, hurt, anger, disgust, betrayal – with someone who is actually listening. Someone who does not invalidate and minimize that. Someone who doesn’t project their own opinions …. rejecting my thoughts, feelings and emotions in the process.

If I want to have sheer disgust at what was done to me and about those who enjoyed harming me – I will. Continue reading