Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

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Ego needy, empathy impoverished, victim shaming.

A post to my page…..

It is so wrong when people who have moved along a journey, then choose to accuse everyone else who they assume isn’t at that point they are at… as having ‘victim mentality’.

The very phrase ‘victim mentality’ is so empathy impoverished, so judgmental and lacking in any understanding of how people’s journey’s are differently impacted by many factors.

It is also stating their journey is ‘as bad as it can be’ and if ‘they’ healed, so should everyone else.

No-one can say their journey is the worst, their suffering is the worst, their journey is the hardest, but we also need to recognise not all trauma/suffering is equal either.

‘Victim shaming’ is a sport these days for many…. and sadly often by those who were once victims themselves – who then deem themselves to not be victims anymore.

‘Victim shaming’ others, only indicates and displays they are not as healed as they think they are…… but they have in fact developed ego’s and a need to consider themselves ‘better’ ‘stronger’ than others. That is not ‘healed’. Continue reading


I’ve spent most of my life faking being happy.

The realisations about my life, just keep on coming.

After writing the blog about faking it on my Birthday, I realised I have been faking being happy all my life. And that cuts like a knife.

I’ve attempted to find happiness in many wrong ways in the past – clubbing, drinking, thrill seeking, men… and they were all to help fill the void within me with something that resembled happiness and not realising all I was doing was harming myself more.

I do have times I feel happiness, usually around my children. I have times where I laugh and find humour funny. But they are very short lived. I have far more times of non happiness and this has been the case all my life, due to my childhood.

When you have a childhood full of fear, abuse, neglect and pain….. you don’t learn how to be safe enough to be happy and you don’t have enough good experiences, to be happy. Continue reading


It’s my Birthday today. Fake smile fully switched on.

I am trying my best to be okay and actually enjoy today. If not for me, for my children.

It started well, my husband and the kids had decorated the dining area with girly pink fairy party decorations. And despite this occurring due to joking/prompting from me about how I would love a fairy party, it was still thoughtful of my husband to buy the stuff and decorate.

Opened some pressies – a gift card to buy plants and a rainbow hosepipe I had spotted weeks ago, that is really cute.

Both my boys had been invited to parties, so we dropped the eldest off at his mate’s party, and went along with our 6 year, to his little school friend’s party. That involved socialising with school mums, and I successfully managed to maintain that for 2 hours.

It is amazing how much you can force yourself to do things and fake being happy around people. And I do this because it is needed as part of life and being around other people. It is never my intention to project my sadness, grieving and painful existence – onto others. And I do my best to be different around people, to how I actually feel inside.   Continue reading

There are many factors that affect a healing journey and this needs to be validated.

A post to my page…..

~~~ Factors Affecting Healing/Recovery From PTSD ~~~

There are many factors that do impact the healing journey, the length of the journey, how much healing will be possible.

Some survivors of PTSD who claim to be ‘healed’ forget these factors do impact and affect the journey for individual people.

The ability to heal, or recover from PTSD or reduce the symptoms is dependant on many factors, some of these being….

– The severity of the PTSD – as PTSD is a continuum and people suffer different levels of severity of symptoms.

– Is it trauma, or complex trauma?

– How long was the trauma endured for, a short lived/one time trauma…. or prolonged, repeated trauma?

– Is the trauma interpersonal trauma (abuse), or not, as this will have a big impact of the healing?

– When was the trauma endured in adulthood, or childhood – this has a big difference in impact on the brain?

– The length of time between the trauma and appropriate treatment and support, as the quicker quality support is received, the more likely the survivor has of full recovery.

– The support and quality of support a sufferer has?

– The professional support/treatment the sufferer had access to?

– Other disorders combined with the PTSD, such as Dissociative Identity Disorder, Bi-polar. Depression etc?

– The persons own psychological capacity to manage the symptoms – this does vary. Continue reading