Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

How sad that many consider compassion for those abused, to be ‘critical’.


My aim, my motivation for all I do online, is to help those abused, help validate their pain, their journey.

This does include validating emotions about those who intentionally cause the harm.

This means not avoiding the reality of harm caused to people, not avoiding other people’s pain, not minimizing it, not being in denial of it, and not choosing all those other cognitive distortions that keep life easy and comfortable.

Sadly, when this contradicts what some people think, the accusations fly of this being viewed as critical.

Critical of what? Abuse? Too right I am critical of abuse. Critical of church people who abuse others. Too right I will be critical about that. Critical of abuser enablers. Yes, I will be critical of that.

And it is not criticism for the sake of being critical. It is about courage and speaking up for those harmed.

But, those who choose to be selfish, choose cognitive distortions, choose egocentricity…… will defend their issues any way they can. And attack the compassion of those who are willing to have courage and integrity to speak up and not avoid and stay silent.

So, if some want to say I am critical, so be it.

I would rather have a ministry of compassion, truth and courage……….. than a ministry of avoidance, cognitive distortions, selfishness, lies and weakness.

Author: Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

I am a survivor of complex and multiple trauma and abuse, who at the age of 40, began my healing journey. I am using my journey to recovery and healing, to help others, to help survivors feel less alone, validated, encouraged and to enable others to understand themselves more. Complex trauma, particularly from severe, prolonged childhood abuse, is profoundly life changing. Complex trauma produces complex adults. The journey to recovery is a painful, often lonely, emotional daily challenge and it is my aim to encourage others in their daily battle. ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

3 thoughts on “How sad that many consider compassion for those abused, to be ‘critical’.

  1. I see this right now in America, in the controversy over a video of a mother who smacked up and then screamed cuss words at her boy to get him out of the Baltimore riots.

    Those of us who see it as abuse, seem to be in the minority. Yeah, we get that she needed to bring him home, but we object to smacking up a kid being seen as “heroic” or “mom of the year.”

    But anyone who tries to point this out, gets criticized for all sorts of things: not understanding the plight of a black single mother, white “privilege,” idiotic, bleeding-heart liberal, wanting that boy to get killed, ridiculous, don’t know what it’s like to be a parent/have a boy, etc. etc. (For the record, *I* have a son.)

    So many people have written things like, “I’m glad to see the country full of common sense instead of people calling her actions abuse!”


    At least several of my friends saw it the way I did. But one of them, who posted about it on her Facebook, got support–but also all sorts of criticism!

    • Oh, yeah, and I’ve seen several opinion pieces that the glee over the kid’s smack-down is racially based. Or that she did this because white supremacy, going back to slavery, got her thinking she HAD to do that or else the police would do worse. I have seen this idea many times, that many blacks still use “whoopin’s” because of the legacy of slavery. Yet anyone who writes that the Baltimore mother’s actions were influenced by this, is accused of race baiting.

      Here we have people taking a hard look at WHY this woman’s actions are considered okay, and WHY she felt she had to do it, a hard look which could lead to real change. But these people are accused of race baiting.

  2. And while everyone is defending the mother, I can’t help thinking, But what about the boy? What about how this effects him? Sure he goes on TV saying it’s okay, but isn’t that Stockholm Syndrome? You see it in comments online: people saying, “That’s not a beating. My parents did worse than that and I turned out okay!” And, “I got smacked in the head/mouth several times, and I deserved it each time.” “That’s why kids are so spoiled today: They need more beatings.” That’s Stockholm Syndrome! And shows how far we still have to go. 😦