I can’t even write about what is in my mind. Memories, things that happened as a result of the grooming process. The shame I feel that still haunts and pervades my life.
Some of this just bubbled up and I spent the last 30 minutes locked in my bedroom crying. Sobbing. I am trying now to pull myself together as my children are home and I cannot cry all day.
I doubt I will ever talk about it. Counselling is no where near safe enough to talk about any of this and I have no-one else.
I want to die.
It hurts too much.