Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.


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I don’t know if I am going to cope with Mother’s Day.

I am busily helping others on my page.. validating how painful Mother’s Day is for many, whether it be because of having an abusive mother, or the loss of their loving mother, or mothers who’s children have died etc….

I’m posting articles on how to deal with it… how to have self compassion, how to mother self etc.

And yet I have no idea how I am going to cope and whether I will ‘brave/happy’ face it enough for my own children.

Since my breakdown 3 years ago……. mother’s day get worse. Which is due to the deepening understanding and pain of knowing what she was and what she did. And how much I loved her despite all she did, and how I would do anything for her, and I did. And how deeply she betrayed that love, with some of the worst kinds of abuse a mother can inflict.   Continue reading


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Apparently, I need to accept all the abuse and trauma, and not wish it was less.

This was a point raised by my counsellor this week, after I attempted to explain how overwhelmed I am in trying to deal with a trauma history like mine.

I get how easy it is for others to say ‘you need to accept all you have endured, as that is your life’. Sure, I get how that seems needed. I get how for some people, those words are needed. I get how they are really easy words to voice.

If I am not at the point of being emotionally able to fully deal with my trauma history in it’s entirety, which I really don’t think I am…… hence the dissociation increasing…… then no-one gets to tell me, that is not good enough. Continue reading


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‘You must love the paedophile/psychopath etc, because God says ‘love your enemies’. More severe, toxic abuse.

Church people can be the most abusive people of all, because they truly are deluded into believing they are right, and ‘must’ project all their wrong Bible interpretations onto everyone else, and feel absolutely entitled to do so. And many don’t care at all, who they hurt in the process. (Narcissism/Sociopathy).

How cruel and sick is it, to tell a survivor of paedophile abuse, or incest, or anything along that trauma continuum, ‘you must love them’.

How cruel is it to suggest unless survivors ‘love’ these abusers, God will be angry with them.

God does not expect us to ‘love’ these people at all. Not in the way church people demand. And even to use those words ‘love them’ is highly re-traumatising, highly abusive and quite frankly every single church person who makes statements like this needs to SHUT THE F&%$# UP. Continue reading