Today, I expected to fall apart. I didn’t. I did the self care thing. Stayed on the sofa nearly all day, wrapped up in a blanket, watching crap TV to take my mind off how I feel.
I forced myself to do some useful things too. I did go outside and water my plants and pots. I did post some stuff on my page, and thought about how I need to get back to concentrating on my page being about Complex PTSD, as it is very different and more complicated than PTSD alone. And how my page needs to reflect that and be about the specific issues complex trauma creates.
Have I simply suppressed my needed emotions about my ‘mother’? Or tried to mindfully do something else?
I have no idea. I don’t know the difference anymore.
But, today didn’t hurt as much as I thought it would, so I’m going with it being an achievement.