Co-dependency, Trauma Bonds, Self Harming Relationships….
Many survivors/victims of abuse stay within harmful, toxic relationships, for different reasons, they may be unaware of.
Co-dependency, trauma bonding, self harming behaviours, fear, guilt, being shamed/guilted into remaining …. are some of the reasons people choose to stay in harmful relationships and these are understandable, but unhealthy ways to cope. And people who are in those unhealthy relationships for those reasons, will defend their behaviours and for a variety of reasons.
I understand trauma bonds and co-dependency, I have had issues with this and I am addressing them, which is really hard.
So, I do understand people who are still dealing – often unaware – with their own co-dependency, trauma bonding, dysfunctional issues. I understand that is where people can be at and I have empathy for people within those abusive relationships.
People within abusive relationships cannot shame others to do the same, with whatever reasons they choose to justify, or rationalise their situation. Or shame others, by projecting opinions about forgiveness and compassion for abusers, which is very harmful to those in the healing journey. Or shame others into minimizing their trauma, or minimize the intentional abuse caused by the abusive people.
We all have the right to be supported in leaving abusive relationships and removing toxic people from our lives, and not shamed into anything unhealthy.
We have a right to our full range of emotions and express them safely and appropriately and not have a time limit imposed.
We have a right to deal with the full reality of the abuse, and the reality about the abusive people and not make excuses for them, and it takes great courage to do this.
I support everyone who is making a stand and saying ‘No More’ to being abused and treated with disrespect and harmful behaviours.
We all deserve to be treated with dignity, kindness and respect and not tolerate anything less.