Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

Support in counselling, about fear, intensity of emotions, and how this deeper processing, hurts more.


A post to my page about one area discussed today at counselling. It surprised me, to have my emotions and their intensity validated.

My counsellor confirmed today, how the level of intensity of the emotions needed to be felt about intentional abuse caused …… needs to be a true reflection of the level of the severity of the abuse caused ….. in order to process the deeper aspects of the trauma.

So basically, the more severe the trauma/abuse, the greater the level of intensity of disgust, anger, hurt, betrayal etc….. the greater the intensity of those emotions needed to be felt.

So, for those who have endured considerable ongoing abuse and trauma and the abuse was intentional and deliberate, these intense emotions, are absolutely valid, and needed.

It was very helpful and validating for me to hear this today.

And so I am sharing this with others, to help validate anyone who has endured complex trauma and is feeling intense emotions, or like me – know they are there – but struggling to deal with them.

And to not allow anyone to invalidate this, or say intense emotions are wrong…. as they are not.

I also discussed my fear of allowing those intense emotions to be felt. For various reasons, including fear of the pain, fear of not coping, fear of ending up suicidal, fear of turning into an angry person….

And how my brain just switches off, to zone out whenever these intense emotions start to be felt. And why.

I also stated that when your start to deal with all the reality of all this severe trauma and how intentional it was and the reality of how profoundly it has affected your entire life, with the courage it takes to face this …. the pain is more intense.

It is easier to live in denial, suppression, avoidance, minimizing, rationalising.

But when you are no longer able to deal with it that way……. and you have no choice but to face the truth, it hurts so much more.

That was confirmed as correct too.

Author: Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

I am a survivor of complex and multiple trauma and abuse, who at the age of 40, began my healing journey. I am using my journey to recovery and healing, to help others, to help survivors feel less alone, validated, encouraged and to enable others to understand themselves more. Complex trauma, particularly from severe, prolonged childhood abuse, is profoundly life changing. Complex trauma produces complex adults. The journey to recovery is a painful, often lonely, emotional daily challenge and it is my aim to encourage others in their daily battle. ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

6 thoughts on “Support in counselling, about fear, intensity of emotions, and how this deeper processing, hurts more.

  1. Thank you. I’ve been shamed so often for being “too intense,” scolded to tone down, dial back, relax.

  2. Seems like your counsellor is really trying to understand …. which is good ♡

  3. I am glad I found this blog. I am a Christian and I struggle with complex ptsd and right now I have no one to talk to about the things I struggle with. My counselor is on leave. I know that she doesn’t really get it but explores it with Me. I don’t get it either most of the time. Right now my emotional pain level is so much higher than anything I am actually going through and even a loving caring friend gives me advice against self pity and all the Christianese that goes along with it. No one can understand hhow the pain breaks through all the tasks, prayers, bible study, teachings, book readings etc. And I just want someone to Allow me the opportunity to talk about it and to just comfort me. I know God and I know the Holy Spirit is leading me in healing. Why can’t people trust God to do that and stop ‘helping’ me, stop advising me, stop thinking they need to make sure God is doing His job or that I’m not missing iit and just love me? Just be with me? Anyway, I believe I am also a burden bearer… I was glad to hear it explained biblically. Thank you.