Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.


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Felt too unwell to do volunteering today…. and I have to be okay with that.

I feel guilty when I can’t keep to my obligations. Not that volunteering is a commitment I have to adhere to every single Wednesday and Thursday. I did go yesterday and help with all the sorting and packing of the boxes.

This morning, I woke so sore and in pain in my back and legs and it was enough to stop me attending volunteering. I knew I had to stay home and rest. I had no choice.

So I have that internal dialogue going on, that it ‘is okay’ to not always be able to attend, and that I need to be okay with that. If I’m unwell, I’m unwell and as much as I hate that, it is my reality. Continue reading


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At least some people are willing to state the facts ~ not everyone will recover from mental illness.

A post to my page, because I believe in honesty and truth…


http://www.huffingtonpost.com/liza-long/5-reasons-i-wish-we-would_b_6502318.html

Very interesting article, and she’s right, some people don’t and won’t recover from serious mental illness……. just in the same way as some people don’t recover from serious physical illness.

And this assumption that everyone can recover, does invalidate serious mental illness.

Many with severe Complex PTSD and PTSD, won’t recover…. it is a matter of learning to manage and cope, not recover and that is a far more appropriate approach.

Some will disagree with this, particularly those who say they have recovered, but their mental health and their situation, is not the same for all and they need to remember that.

And for those who won’t recover, they need to not feel shamed for that, or feel they are weak, because they are not a ‘recovery success story’. Continue reading


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An old woman just waiting to die.

I don’t have any hope for it to get better. I don’t have the capacity, or what I need in my life, for it to get better. And I know that, even if anyone else wants to pretend differently.

I don’t have safe relationships to heal within. I don’t trust my husband or my counsellor. Not in the way needed to heal.

The pain keeps getting worse, not better. Emotionally, psychologically, physically, it gets worse and worse.

I am being ground and emotionally battered down further and further by the horror of my past. It’s not getting easier. It’s getting worse. Continue reading