Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

Felt too unwell to do volunteering today…. and I have to be okay with that.


I feel guilty when I can’t keep to my obligations. Not that volunteering is a commitment I have to adhere to every single Wednesday and Thursday. I did go yesterday and help with all the sorting and packing of the boxes.

This morning, I woke so sore and in pain in my back and legs and it was enough to stop me attending volunteering. I knew I had to stay home and rest. I had no choice.

So I have that internal dialogue going on, that it ‘is okay’ to not always be able to attend, and that I need to be okay with that. If I’m unwell, I’m unwell and as much as I hate that, it is my reality.

I will let the founder of the project know that I am struggling with chronic illness and will not always make it and just turn up when I can, and when I can’t, I don’t.

I don’t like it. I wish it were different.

But, accepting my reality, is needed and to also not feel guilty for what I am unable to do, due to chronic illness.

Author: Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

I am a survivor of complex and multiple trauma and abuse, who at the age of 40, began my healing journey. I am using my journey to recovery and healing, to help others, to help survivors feel less alone, validated, encouraged and to enable others to understand themselves more. Complex trauma, particularly from severe, prolonged childhood abuse, is profoundly life changing. Complex trauma produces complex adults. The journey to recovery is a painful, often lonely, emotional daily challenge and it is my aim to encourage others in their daily battle. ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

7 thoughts on “Felt too unwell to do volunteering today…. and I have to be okay with that.

  1. Lilly, It is incredibly helpful to follow your journey of giving yourself Permission to…..
    – speak your truth
    – feel ALL your feelings
    – set boundaries
    – advocate for yourself
    – take a stand against bullies

    When the majority of people in the world are telling us to shut up and get over it, having you & the people who post comments advocate for our right to speak and feel our truth of horrible abuse is very empowering.

    It has empowered me to give myself Permission to….

    – say some things to my sister that I’ve wanted to say for a long time.

    – speak my truth & my feelings instead of stuffing them & being silent

    – set boundaries (which is really, really scary & hard for me to do because I usually go right to Fawn/Flight)

    There is power in numbers and in speaking the Truth about the soul crushing abuse of children.

  2. I feel so so so guilty being in respite with the husband looking after the kids. Don’t feel bad. You help stop many already