Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.


I don’t do the unhealthy extremes, yet so many do.

I’ve really come to understand that society and people are full of extremes, and they are never healthy. And they never sit right with my soul.

Example…… How people deal with abusive people who have harmed them.

One Extreme ~ Wanting revenge, retaliation, put their name all over social media, expose them in a vindictive way, vindictive behaviours back, wanting karma, want them to suffer back, taking pleasure in them suffering back etc…..

The Other Extreme ~ People demand you forgive them, feel sorry for them, not have boundaries from them, force reconciliation, demand complete silence, demand you make excuses for them, justify, rationalise their abuse etc…

I see these extremes all the time, on social media posts in particular and neither of these extremes are healthy.

I take the middle of these continuums. Continue reading


Why I am still glad I use a pen name…… and it’s not for my benefit.

When I decided to start sharing details of my past on line, I thought about whether to use my real name, or keep my anonymity. I decided for two main reasons to use a pen name…

~ I still had fear of past abusers contacting me. I don’t have that fear anymore. I don’t allow them that control over me anymore.

~ I didn’t want family members names and identities being revealed, because their lives and what they endured, is not my story to tell.

I’m still glad I use a pen name, and for the latter of these two reasons above.

I’ve just been watching Dr Phil with a woman who wrote a tell all book about her childhood and abusive mother, also detailing abuse that occurred to her siblings. The siblings feel this book has destroyed their life and their childhood experiences were not hers to tell. And one of them was much younger and is in denial of his mothers abuse and I see similarities with my siblings, who are also in denial, weren’t there, or too young to witness much of my childhood. So they don’t in fact have any right to deny my experiences, but they do so from a place of selfishness.

As much as I will never have contact with my siblings, and their hatred of me for discussing my life here and on my page, I will never ‘out’ them on social media, in this blog, or in a book. Even by association. Because even if I didn’t mention their names, using my own would link them to them.

I have compassion and empathy and a sense of doing what is right for them, as well as myself. And I have healthy boundaries. Continue reading

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Self care, a continual battle…

This morning, I have already forced myself to go outside and water my gardens and tidy up a little. It is nice being in the warm sun, especially as it has become pretty chilly. But the sun is lovely.

I’m gathering some motivation and energy to go and do some craft. I have a beautiful mothers day card from my boys, I want to turn into a picture …. with the help of my scrapbooking stash.

I also need to do some stretching and some easy yoga stuff. Maybe some guided progressive muscle relaxation…

I know when I am capable of doing stuff I do, and when I’m not, I don’t. And I have accepted that cycles around continually.