Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

Child sexual abuse perpetrated by a child’s own parents, is the most profound trauma to a child.


Child sexual abuse by parents, whether incest, or sexual exploitation, is profound trauma, that causes many deep layers of trauma.

Child sexual abuse is also physical abuse/assault, deep emotional and psychological abuse and severe neglect to a child.  Continue reading

Pieces of a dark, terrible puzzle coming together.


Over the last 3 years, I have been in this process, of all the trauma and horror of it all, coming to the surface.

And it is a painful and slow process. It has to be slow, because it would kill me to be any quicker. It has nearly killed me, many times.

Coming to understand all the different parts of the trauma, who caused them, why, is horrendous. Coming to understand the profound trauma and abuse I endured, and how it affected every area of my life, tainting everything, is traumatic in itself. It’s like more trauma occurring.

And the grieving of all this, as the layers of the trauma are peeled away, revealing deeper and deeper horror, makes the journey become harder and harder. It is a process that I don’t choose to occur. These deeper realisations occur regardless of my wanting them or not. They become revealed and fill me with pain I fail to express appropriately, or in a way that adequately explains or gives justice to.

The dark puzzle of my childhood, is filled with disgusting evil, that no child should ever endure. And whilst I hate this process, I know that it is necessary and is part of the healing process. But, it hurts. Every day. Some days it hurts more than others and can make me wish I was no longer alive to feel it any longer. Other days, it is more bearable. But, the pain is always there. Continue reading