Royal Commission hears of 33 boys in one grade 4, 12 committed suicide, due to abuse. This is beyond heartbreaking. 12, in just one grade committed suicide at the hands of paedophile priests at a Ballarat School.
I would be told I shouldn’t be reading this, I know. It is so painful to know a little of how these boys were feeling, and to know the devastation that led them to want to die. And know that of those who survived, their lives were damaged so badly by all the abuse, in profoundly painful ways.
I know this is triggering emotions about my own suicide attempts in my teens. Which was also due to paedophile abuse. At the time, I did not know of my own mother and step father’s involvement. Now I do.
But, I guess I should be glad I did not know at that time, of their involvement. How I was set up by them. I knew when I saw my step father talking to him, more than a year after I disclosed the abuse myself and my sister endured….. that he was involved. I knew my step father was a sick pervert, I just couldn’t express it, and wasn’t allowed to. In order to stay a part of my ‘family’ – I had to tow the line and stay quiet.
I have no doubt, had I known then my mother was also involved, I would have not survived all the abuse. I would have killed myself. I guess, I should be glad I survived. Continue reading