Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.


The guilt trip and shaming issue of forgiveness and compassion for abusers.

I have come to realise ‘forgiveness’ and ‘compassion for abusers’ – is a huge guilt trip many are on. And a huge ‘shaming’ issue many like to project too, particularly toxic religious people.

Shame is the foundation of society and most religious people.

Do I ever need to forgive my mother of the evil she intentionally inflicted, the paedophile’s abuse, the psychopath’s abuse? Or make excuses for them? Or feel sorry for them?

Short answer…. no.

Not in the way many project.

All I have to do is not condemn them, not want retribution, not want revenge etc. That is it. And I’ve always known this. I didn’t need religious people, or a counsellor, or anyone to tell me that. It’s what I’ve always known in my heart is needed. But, I do not have to feel sorry for them, offer compassion about the evil they chose to inflict. Continue reading

I feel very honoured, that someone who has a private session with the Royal Commission, would reach out to me.

A very brave and courageous survivor has reached out to me, to let me know my posts provide comfort for her and to let me know she has a private session with the Royal Commission today.

I feel emotional that someone would reach out to me, and share this with me, knowing I will support her and be of comfort in this time of emotional turmoil, anxiety and to get through something that is so emotional. Continue reading


Really stressed about my son’s biopsy tests today.

My son has a mass of lumps in his neck, in an area I know lumps do not normally occur. They are growing in size and some are over 3cm’s and I know that causes concern for doctors, and biopsy’s are needed to ascertain what is causing them.

I am very stressed about this, because I know what they will be testing for.

I am trying not to presume the worst, but I am a mother, and one who cares about my children, and I am very stressed and anxious about these tests.

Update… My son was so brave. Two needles, both having to be wiggled around to collect enough cells. No numbing cream, or anything to make it easier. I was so proud of how well he coped, as I know he was very nervous and had anxiety about it.

Things You Believe If You Were Sexually Abused…


I was glad to see this article, as it deals with the reality of how we can feel after child sexual abuse.

Having been sexually abused by a paedophile as a child, and sexually abused by a psychopath as an adolescent, I can say that I still feel dirty, used, unclean, broken, have self loathing and no matter what anyone would tell me to the contrary, this is how I feel.

It is how I felt since I was a child and it was first happening.

That’s the shame, self loathing and consequences of child sexual abuse the perpetrators inflict on their victims.