No, I am not ‘rationalising’ being ‘thankful’ to my abusers.

There are popular quotes that travel social media world

‘I am thankful to those who harmed me, for teaching me how not to be/making me stronger’..

Or statements to that effect. There are a few different ones. Basically all ‘thanking abusers’.

I see these rationalising posts all the time.

I am so far past these lies people feed others, or feed themselves.

No, I am not thankful to my abusers, because that is thanking evil.

No, I am not thankful they taught me how ‘not to be’ by having to endure/witness/learn their abusive ways and wanting to be different. I would much rather I had been taught how to be, by good role models, and been taught goodness via empathy and compassion.

We need to stop victim shaming.

This quote is taken from this article http://thebodyisnotanapology.com/magazine/yeah-im-a-victim-what-about-it/

Victim shaming is an epidemic, I see clearly.

It occurs throughout society, within the mental health profession, the abuse victim advocacy field and within many abuse victims.

And don’t even get me started on how prevalent victim shaming is within religious people.

Glad to see this article about victim shaming. It needs to stop.

http://thebodyisnotanapology.com/magazine/yeah-im-a-victim-what-about-it/

Unfortunately, the directive “Don’t be a victim” is thrown at those who have been victimized by predators, as well as at those who are victims of racism, sexism, homophobia, and every other phobia or –ism that is or ever was. Those who shout, “Don’t be a victim,” are cowards. Those words are meant to shut down, to demean, and to shame. They are the words of someone who cannot bear witness to another’s pain. They are the words of those who are fearful of their own vulnerability. They may see themselves in the victim and not want to be in the same situation. So they engage in a bit of cognitive dissonance and essentially align themselves with the message of the predator: “Shut up. Be quiet. Suffer alone.”

Still having therapists thank me for my work.

I realise my website and this blog helps both therapists, as well as sufferers.

I’m thankful it helps people.

I’m glad something good has come from my life.

 

My past haunts me, night and day.

The nightmares are worse again. The intrusive memories about the worst abuse, suicide attempts etc…. never stop.

I feel like the evil they inflicted is within me, and won’t leave. Knowing I have loved evil people, doesn’t help. There is something so disgusting in having loved evil people. It makes me hate myself and feel self loathing, I cannot stop feeling.