Poem “Lost, Now Found” ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

Poem – Lost, Now Found

So lost

In the abyss

Darkness

Garden of evil

.

She stumbled

Broken steps

Paralysing fear

Lost in dark fog

.

She tiptoes now

As darkness dissipates

Clearing vision

Fog lifting

So glad to connect with people who understand the shaming within mental health industry/policy.

I agree, when mental health policy is based on ‘best case scenario’s’ and those who are used as the ‘poster kids’ for ‘recovery’…. shaming, invalidation and harm occurs…. and it is occurring. I see that very clearly.

I am not okay with, at all.

This lack of insight and lack of empathy, harms.

THE 4 MOST COMMON NARC-SADISTIC TRIANGULATION TACTICS

Great article on the tactics of the disordered and intentionally abusive narcissistic/sociopathic abusers.

Free From Toxic

There is already a lot of information about triangulation, one of the favorite manipulation tools used by narcissists and people who suffer from “cluster B” personality disorders. However, I think it’s important in any kind of relationship, that we learn to identify the early warning signs and red flags, when interacting with people who display narcissistic traits or sociopathy. This way we can better arm ourselves from being exploited and abused and make informed decisions about who we allow in our lives, as well as, set appropriate boundaries to avoid and protect us from being negatively impacted by these toxic interactions.

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We don’t have to be ‘so strong’ all the time, or ‘warrior survivors’. It’s an unreasonable demand/expectation.

Being real and honest, is important to me. Victims of abuse being treated appropriately, is important to me.

The fact that we are broken and are trying to heal, is enough. We are enough.

This unreasonable demand that people who have already endured so much suffering and trauma…. should be ‘so strong’ and ‘warrior survivors’ and be ‘constantly recovering’ & quickly – is an unnecessary, inappropriate and unreasonable demand.

Society demands we are these expectations/demands. Family and friends can demand it too. The mental health profession often demand it, as per their ‘highest functioning’ based policies.

It’s so harmful. It needs to stop and empathy and compassion prevail.

People need to take all the time they need to heal, with no agenda’s and demands placed upon them.

Thankful to the charity ‘Womens Trust’ sharing my blogs posts.

The women’s charity – ‘Women’s Trust’ have a website and they feature blogs from social media, in order to help others. They have shared several of mine now, and I hope they help someone.

The one shared today, is my post about self care, healthy activities and emotional boundaries.

https://healingfromcomplextraumaandptsd.wordpress.com/2015/06/15/keepin-focussed-on-self-care-healthy-activities-boundaries/

http://paper.li/womanstrust/1313733231?edition_id=df619bc0-1322-11e5-9c2b-0cc47a0d1605

Music Therapy. A special song…. reminds me of my 20’s.

The lyrics part about “‘you don’t mean nothing all to me” – is about how I felt about myself. Much of the lyrics, has personal meaning for me.

It is my ongoing battle to care about myself, in the absence of anyone else, caring.

Lyrics – “Say It Right”

In the day
In the night
Say it right
Say it all
You either got it
Or you don’t

You either stand or you fall

.
When your will is broken
When it slips from your hand
When there’s no time for joking
There’s a hole in the plan

.

Oh you don’t mean nothing at all to me
No you don’t mean nothing at all to me
But you got what it takes to set me free
Oh you could mean everything to me

.

Keepin’ focussed on Self Care, Healthy Activities & Boundaries….

Part of my journey, has been to focus on needed and deserved self care, and needed emotional boundaries. This is something I know many complex trauma survivors and child abuse survivors truly need to develop and focus on. It’s a big part of my work in educating and sharing my journey, to help others know they need these too.

I’ve been scheduling posts for my page for a while now, and they appear every 2 hours or so. In doing this, I can spend 20 minutes thinking of posts and info I want to add to my social media, schedule them, and get off the laptop. I will check them a couple of times to see what comments are being posted. But, my time on social media as a result, has drastically reduced. Which is good self care. I also remove any toxic and mean crap. I don’t tolerate it anymore. Again, good self care and boundaries.

Today, I went and picked up a few craft things, as I am feeling a spark of enthusiasm for my craft, scrapbooking etc again. I know I can fluctuate in my desire to do crafty things and that’s okay. When I have the desire for it, I do it. I found some stuff heavily discounted, which is great 🙂

Why Does Some Traumatic Experience Harm More Than Others? ~ David Hosier

This article is from here http://childhoodtraumarecovery.com/2015/06/12/why-does-traumatic-experience-harm-some-people-more-than-others/

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People are affected by the experience of trauma in different ways. What factors are behind these individual differences in response to adversity?

I provide a list of examples below:

– if we receive support from family, friends, professionals etc during a traumatizing period of our lives the adverse effects of the trauma may be reduced. For example, a child whose parents are involved in an acrimonious divorce but who receives emotional support from loving grandparents may be less psychologically damaged than a child who is going through a similar experience but receives no such support.

– similarly, if we receive support after experiencing trauma from, for example, a close set of friends and/ or relations, we are likely to cope with the negative effects of our traumatic experience more effectively

– some people’s genetic inheritance may make them more resilient to the effects of trauma than others

– those who bonded well with/formed a secure attachment to their primary caregiver during babyhood/infancy are, all else being equal, likely to be able to cope with the adverse effects of trauma in later life than those individuals who did not develop this psychologically protective bond but, instead, developed an insecure attachment with their mother during their early development

– a person who is helpless in the face of his/her traumatic experience and has no control over it is likely to be more badly affected by it than a person who can exert some control over his/her fate.

– traumatic experiences that continue over a protracted period of time are, in general, more psychologically damaging to an individual than traumas that are one- off event

– the effects of trauma are likely to be more serious if the harm is perpetrated by another person (as opposed to the harm being caused by an impersonal event such as a natural disaster).

– effects of trauma are at their most severe when perpetrated by a person whose role is to love and protect us, especially a parent.