Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

Screw you hives, I’m going for a walk anyway!

I have Urticaria… or hives as commonly known. The cause is unknown, but I get them every time my body temp raises, even slightly and with any form of activity. And it’s getting worse. I’m meant to be having tests to try and determine the cause, but I can’t afford it. And because it’s long term, it is classed as an chronic illness.

The hives first started occurring every time I had anxiety. Now I only have to go outside (and it’s Winter here) to do some gardening and I am covered in hives. I get them all over my body, legs, back, scalp… everywhere.

And they itch like holy hell. I want to scratch myself raw, every time I get them. They are really annoying and I pretty much get them every day, sometimes several times a day.

But, in true form to myself….. I validate my annoyance at these hives…… they suck. But, I also think ‘screw you hives’ I am not letting this stop me from doing stuff. So, I do my gardening anyway, I do stuff I know will bring on the hives, but I just deal with it.

Today, it was cool, cloudy day and I wanted to get out the house and go for a walk. Within¬†a few¬†minutes of walking, the hives¬†made their appearance and within 10 minutes they were all over me. My husband, who recently got an itchy¬†rash on his forearms after putting insulation in our roof, even stated he didn’t know how I coped with these hives every day. The itchy rash he had was annoying enough and that was only 24 hours.

I don’t intend to let this Urticaria illness, or my back pain issues, or my continual¬† fatigue stop me doing what I need to do. Continue reading

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Knowing I am making a difference for trauma survivors, keeps me motivated.

When my work, insight and sharing has an impact on those in positions of influence, who are highly educated and do considerable work within the mental health field… I know I am making a difference.

I recently had email exchanges with Prof. David Susman Ph.D – who has an impressive biography you can see at http://davidsusman.com/about/

The conversation was about ‘shaming’ within the mental health industry. At first David rejected my insight and views, then he emailed me with an apology and stated my views are accurate and he agrees with them.

These are some of the comments he stated…

“I believe your website and advocacy is very important”

“I would like to offer my apologies to you for my comments. I value your perspectives and certainly see your point of view.”

“I’m so appreciative of your insights and comments. I really agree with everything you said.”

“Your points about shame are also very accurate. I have seen many people withdraw and avoid others because of this. The fear and anxiety is tremendous.”

“Once again, I’m so sorry for my unfeeling comments. I have definitely learned a valuable lesson from our exchange and I won’t be so assertive in the future in insisting that “one size fits all” for therapy and recovery.”

I am thankful for these comments and feedback about my work and my insight.

I am thankful to be able to converse with highly educated people within the mental health industry and actually make a difference. Continue reading