There are needs that are vital to any hope of complex trauma survivors healing. One of these, is trusting relationships.
There are complex trauma survivors, who actually have no-one in their life, they can trust. And this is not a cognitive distortion, caused by trauma……. is a fact.
Abuse/child abuse survivors often end up in unhealthy relationships, with immature, selfish, dishonest people, who are not truth worthy. There are understandable psychological reasons for this. When there are children to consider, the situation is not an easy one to deal with. If you don’t have children, it is far easier to make decisions on whether to end these relationships.
Dealing with trauma and abuse, leads to isolation and losing ‘friends’ etc. This happens to many.
When ‘family’ are abusers, they cannot be trusted. And often continue to harm the complex trauma survivor, or the relationship becomes no contact.
Counsellors can have agenda’s and other priorities, that mean their complex trauma client’s needs are not met. And many complex trauma survivors have had bad experienced with therapists and will not reach out again.
Experts in complex trauma, say the trauma is only healed by being in trustworthy, healthy relationships. But that is not always possible, or the reality of what occurs, for many.
I realise, I have no-one I can trust in my life. I work on my own self care and needs and I am doing better with that. But, I realise I am not experiencing a relationship with anyone I trust, or feel safe enough, to heal some of the wounds of having suffered severe, and multiple complex trauma.
My heart breaks, knowing there are others who are in a similar painful situation.
For those who are able to find relationships within which a therapeutic level of trust can be built, I am truly so relieved and encouraging of.
But, for those who don’t, I understand the wounds that keep hurting, due to not having the most important need.
You cannot just switch off that deep yearning for someone to trust, or those deep psychological needs. It is a painful wound to not have this, all your life. And for it to continue, and have no hope for the situation to change.
It is a core level, deeply painful, intensely impacting wound…. that keeps on bleeding.