Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

It’s not Father’s Day here, but I am avoiding social media, because of all the Father’s Day posts.

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It’s Father’s Day in US and other countries. So as normal, social media is awash with posts about wonderful and great fathers. And for those good fathers, I am truly thankful.

But, I will also validate and acknowledge, that my father-figure – my step father, was not a good father. At all.

I am over minimizing the extent of the damage and abuse caused by my mother and step father.

I am over other people minimizing and excusing the damage they caused.

They made choices and they knew what they were doing was wrong, because they hid it, did it behind closed doors, lied, denied, and caused me profound harm, that I will live with all my life.

They destroyed my life and intentionally so.

I don’t ever have to be okay with that, make excuses for them, minimize what they did, or their intentionality. I don’t need to rationalise it, or defend them.

They were sick, evil, abusive, manipulative, exploitative, perverts.

So, I will allow myself my rightful emotions and know that I can feel my full range of emotions, and not need to suppress or avoid them any longer.

Dealing with truth and reality, is far harder than avoidance, minimizing, rationalising, denial etc.

Dealing with the truth, is legitimate suffering and profound grieving.

It will take as long as it takes, for me to deal with this. I have 4 decades of harm to deal with and that does not get dealt with quickly. My journey will take as long as it takes.

And no-one will tell me differently and shame me in the process.

But, I will have self care and avoid social media and all the many triggering posts, about how wonderful fathers are.

Author: Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

I am a survivor of complex and multiple trauma and abuse, who at the age of 40, began my healing journey. I am using my journey to recovery and healing, to help others, to help survivors feel less alone, validated, encouraged and to enable others to understand themselves more. Complex trauma, particularly from severe, prolonged childhood abuse, is profoundly life changing. Complex trauma produces complex adults. The journey to recovery is a painful, often lonely, emotional daily challenge and it is my aim to encourage others in their daily battle. ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

4 thoughts on “It’s not Father’s Day here, but I am avoiding social media, because of all the Father’s Day posts.

  1. I’m happy that you are taking the time out to avoid social media for good self care!!!!

  2. Thank you for saying this.,,,
    “They destroyed my life and intentionally so.”

    I have felt the exact same thing for a long time but never said it out loud because people never believe that your own parents would intentionally destroy you.

    The reason I know it was intentional is because the abuse was so calculated.

    It takes a lot of planning and calculating to present yourself as loving normal parents to the outside world and hide who you really are.

    Unless you’ve lived it there’s no way to adequately describe how it feels to experience having parents who are intentionally & maliciously creating was to destroy you.

  3. Jules Opal: “It takes a lot of planning and calculating to present yourself as loving normal parents to the outside world and hide who you really are.” – My mother and step-father used the distortion campaign to do this to me. My biological father, who abandoned my mom and me when I was three years old, is on Facebook with his daughter from another marriage. I have had no relationship with him all these years. Facebook can push some buttons with the posts you might see.

    • “Friends Validate”…..really like your user name!!

      Can’t even imagine how painful that must be to see them on Facebook.

      Will never understand how people can be so cruel to their own kids.