I hold the understanding of all of the consequences of my life/journey and all I have been through.
I hold the capacity to see all the harm, destruction, hurt, pain, suffering and I don’t deny, minimize or invalidate that anymore.
I also have the capacity to see the gifts that have come, in spite of all the abuse.
One of the biggest, is my capacity to teach my children empathy and compassion for others. I talk with my children about how to treat others, how to put themselves into the lives of other people and see it from their point of view and how they feel. How to have compassion for those who have less and to want to help them. How to be a decent human being. How to be honest and take responsibility for their actions. And much more. And I see how this is helping them to grow empathy, responsibility, honesty and compassion. I see their capacity for compassion to others.
I also teach my children self worth and resilience.
Other gifts I have developed, include a deeper understanding of suffering and how trauma affects people and be able to voice that. And help others to understand this and even explain what I see to people like professors in psychology and explain the stigmatising and shaming issues that I see that hurt people suffering, even more. I see how that has become an important part of my work.
I am never going to say I am glad I have endured my life, or that it was needed. I don’t succumb to that rationalising and putting a good spin on abuse. I would never want my children to endure any of it and I never deserved any of it.
But, I am thankful that despite it all, I have good that has come from it and can do my little part in helping to show empathy and how to treat others. And at the end of the day, no matter what else I achieve and strive to achieve, I know that my most important work, is with my own children.
Children are the future and it is my most important role, to balance all my children’s needs and areas of growth. Including developing empathy, compassion, honesty, self worth, responsibility and resilience.
They are virtues I hold of high importance, to being a decent human being.