Volunteering, is one of the ways to increase Post Traumatic Growth, as well as growth and compassion.

Volunteering, is something those with empathy, a conscience and a willingness to give, with no reward in return. Volunteers are often wonderful people, with big hearts and light in their souls.

I’ve always known since I was 20, that volunteering is an important part of life.

I see how so many people only give with a ‘what’s in it for me’ attitude. And want money, fame, recognition, or something that makes it ‘worth their effort’. Volunteers are not concerned with this.

I’ve been volunteering my time and effort for 3 years, helping those who are dealing with PTSD and Complex PTSD, abuse and complex trauma  survivors, via my website, blog and social media work.

I started volunteering at a food bank charity several months ago and it’s already somewhere I feel makes a difference to those in need. They are diverse group of people I volunteer with and I have spent time talking with some, listening to their life problems and offering a compassionate ear. Being someone who listens, non judgmentally. Most of the volunteers have some level of issues occurring. Such is life.

Last week, a woman was withdrawn and quiet and not being her normal self. As I am someone who subconsciously learns people’s behaviours, and picks up on people’s emotions etc… I noticed she was not okay, where others didn’t. I started a conversation and it led to telling me her stresses and her being emotional and in tears. I let her talk, and validated her stresses and worries, which were mostly financial, were valid and understandable. We had hugs and she said she felt better being able to release some tears and someone listening and not being told to just ‘be positive’.

I barely know this woman, but what I was able to offer her, was what she needed. And she was glad I noticed her need. This led to a conversation with others who joined in, where it was discussed how emotions are okay and bottling them up, isn’t healthy. How it’s okay to not be okay, and reach out for help. It was a good conversation, with a good outcomes.

Mental illness, has become the cop out cognitive distortion excuse, for all bad behaviour.

Mental illness, has become the excuse for all bad/nasty/abusive behaviour. I see it everywhere. People automatically jump to the excuse ‘she/he must me mentally unwell’. It’s easy to blame mental illness.

Easier than accepting some people choose, willingly to do evil and will manipulate everyone around them, to believe either they didn’t do something, blame someone else, blame their childhood, or just simply deem they are not responsible for their actions.

There are people who manipulate, groom, prey on vulnerable people, lie, deceive, exploit and they enjoy it. This is mentally unhealthy, but not mental illness. It is a choice. It is evil at work and people choose this. They know it’s wrong, and they do it anyway. They are fully aware of their actions and the consequences to their victims, and they do it anyway.

Making excuses for them, may seem the compassionate way to deal with them. And people feel good about themselves when they act ‘compassionately’. And is exactly what these predators want. They have manipulated those people too.

There are people who do wrong, do terrible things and they are mentally ill, or they have taken drugs, they have psychosis. But there are also many who do terrible things to other people intentionally and do not fall into these categories of reasons. They are fully aware of their actions.

There are many that do what they do, simply because they like hurting people, they like manipulating people, they like taking advantage of people, they like exploiting people.

Interestingly, the worst bullying and harassment I have had on social media, has been from ex military.

Firstly, I will state that many ex military are wonderful people. In no way, am I generalising all ex military, or current military as the same.

The worst bullying and harassment on social media, has been from ex military. And I see why. The military attracts and develops some people into beings with little conscience, little empathy and an ability to destroy people – with no remorse, with the ‘reason’ of protecting their country. It gives them the belief that this psychopathic behaviour, is okay. The military develop and grow people into fighting machines, with pack mentality, where retaliation and revenge are part of the job. They are taught/forced to suppress all emotions, all sense of conscience, all sense of remorse. All the hallmarks of highly disordered/unhealthy people. And the better the psychopath they become, the more they are hailed as being a military success.

I’ve read so many articles on the internet about how the military has higher than average levels of narcissists /sociopaths/ psychopaths and it’s easy to see why. And how many will be further up that continuum than average.

Plus you only have to read the appalling statistics on sexual violence perpetrated within the military, to see what goes on even within their own comrades. Quote “Last year, soldiers were 15 times more likely to be raped by a comrade then killed by an enemy.” http://mic.com/articles/72503/pentagon-releases-startling-new-statistics-on-military-sexual-assault. Again behaviour by people with no empathy, no conscience, no remorse. And willing to harm others, easily. More facts about sexual violence/abuse perpetuated by military @ http://www.huffingtonpost.com/soraya-chemaly/military-sexual-assault-facts_b_4281704.html.

And even the ‘fight’ trauma response in itself, is narcissistic. See http://www.healingfromcomplextraumaandptsd.com/#!about1/c2bg

I think the military destroys many people.

My husband works with a few fellow cops, who were ex military and they have confirmed how higher levels of violence, bullying, and nasty behaviour does go on, how many have a ‘chip on their shoulder’ and they have seen this for themselves. How they treat their families badly and feel so entitled in their actions.

It makes sense to me how this occurs, when you consider the type of training and combat training they endure. And the psychological implications of this.