I have received emails including apologies to me, from both David Susman Ph.D and Dr Cheryl Arutt. Both of whom are highly experienced clinicians and mental health professionals, with impressive careers and much valued by many in the mental health field.
I am always very surprised by apologies and thankful for those seeking to want to sort through problems, and considering what has been said, and a willingness to think about my point of view. And interestingly both of these situations have involved the issue of ‘shame’ – of which I can see I am becoming an ‘anti-shame’ advocate in not wanting abuse/mental health survivors – shamed any more than they already have.
Both have confirmed the value in my work, which was validating. Dr Arutt yesterday stating “I have really appreciated your website, and I think you have a lot of value to add for trauma and PTSD survivors” and that us no longer being connected “would be a loss for me (and my patients and people I refer to sites such as yours)”.
I am always willing to work through situations with genuine people. Whilst maintaining my needed boundaries away from those who are not genuine. Continue reading
The 2005 court documents about Bill Cosby’s deliberate and intentional drugging of women to rape them (sex without consent is rape)…. have been released. And it’s no surprise to me that he is indeed a rapist. It is argued he one of the worst serial rapists known to humanity. Certainly one of the worst serial celebrity rapists.
His admission that he intentionally bought drugs and used them to intentionally drug women to have ‘sex’ (rape), is proof enough of validation of every single victim who came forward and reported/spoke up about how Bill Cosby drugged them.
This article is excellent on explaining/highlighting rape culture, victims blaming, and victim shaming.
We should not need a confession from a rapist to believe victims.
The victims have been further traumatised by society, by all those who shamed and blamed them, or called them liars.
Rape culture is alive and kicking and until this is highlighted and fought against more…… and people stop making excuses for predators… it will continue. Continue reading
I am completely honest that boundaries and balance were never my strong points. They often aren’t, when you have grown in a toxic environment with unhealthy parents. It is common in complex trauma survivors to have inappropriate boundaries, when you never learned them.
It takes self insight and self honesty, to admit this and address it. It takes courage…. and it needs to be addressed, for any change and healing to occur. Continue reading