Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.


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Thankful for another award from a mental health professional/author/psychotherapist/speaker etc.

once-a-victim-now-a-survivor-award

Award from AUTHOR: Bree Bonchay, LCSW, Psychotherapist * Blogger * Advocate * Radio Guest Expert * Motivational Speaker * Narcissistic Abuse & Toxic Relationship Forum Administrator

I am very thankful for being considered for this award. Much gratitude.

Bree’s blog is @ http://relationshipedia.me/


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‘Don’t judge others’ ‘forgive’ – often simply a way for many to avoid the realities of terrible actions/behaviours of others.

Most of humanity prefers to not have to deal with the realities of life. Realities like child abuse, abuse, how many psychopathic, sociopathic, narcissistic people, paedophiles, sex offenders etc etc etc  are in the world. And how intentionally they cause harm, and how they have no remorse, no conscience, no empathy.

Many religious people use the term ‘don’t judge others’ as the perfect excuse to avoid reality and avoid dealing with people who choose to harm others.

Easier to find some excuse to rationalise their behaviour. Easier to find some excuse as a cop out.. Easier, lazier, takes a lot less thought and a lot less living in reality.

It’s also why forgiveness is pushed so much by religious people such as ‘Christians’ and Buddhists etc.

Takes less effort and less action, to just say ‘don’t judge’ and ‘forgive’…….. than actually dealing with it all appropriately. I see how self serving it often truly is.

And in many cases, this belief some people have of demanding ‘don’t judge’ and ‘forgive’ – is purely self serving, as it makes people feel ‘better’ than others. It boosts their ego. They feel ‘good’ about themselves to think this way, and then project that onto others to put others down and make them feel bad. All abusive in itself.

Humanity is selfish to it’s core and I see this clearly in these behaviours.

Not many have the wisdom and clarity of vision to see the realities of life, and act unselfishly and without self serving intentions.


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Terminal Aloneness… Continues.

I have accepted there are some emotions I will always have. Acceptance is needed. The battle in feeling emotions are somehow ‘wrong’, makes life worse. I have felt terminally alone all my life. Felt a sense of disconnection from humanity, that I have tried so hard to overcome.

Now, I realise I am alone, because I am different to many people. My life experiences, my capacity to think more, makes me different to many people. I’ve never found ‘my people’ and I accept I am unlikely to ever find people like myself.

I feel like I am a wise old woman, seeing teenagers at play around me. And I’ve been told I have a wise old soul. Yet, I try to continue to have connections with people, as that is meant to be good for me…

I am thinking of finding a philosophy group in my area. They will be people who may think more deeply and are interested in the deeper issues in life. People who I may be able to talk with, who will expand my mind too.

But, I am aware how the aloneness continues.

alone

I’ve never fitted in and I definitely don’t now. And a huge part of me doesn’t want to either. I’ve always been deemed by others to be ‘different’ and I hated that in the past. Now I see I am different and whilst I am okay with my differences… and I’m glad my eyes are open…. it’s also lonely. Continue reading