Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

Self Care, Boundaries, Balance….. I constantly have to remind myself.


Self care is something I only embraced within the last few years. Prior to that, my life was a continual unawareness of self care, having never been shown it in the first 20 years of my life. Instead being abused continually, in severe ways.

Now I am aware of self care, boundaries, balance – those terms/concepts/behaviours that can be so alien to many severe, prolonged child abuse survivors, who grew in toxic homes.

I don’t beat myself up about this constant reminder process for self care anymore. I have increasing self compassion. I accept it is an ongoing process, and when I do okay at it… I am glad. When I don’t do okay, I just remind myself gently what I need to be doing instead. I’m getting better at being nice to myself.

Over the last few days, I’ve spent longer on Twitter than I really want to…. so today I am spending a lot less time on there, and I am doing nice things for me.

I’ve been to the gardening centres, bought a few cheap plants and some garden ornaments reduced to $5. I love gardening and it helps soothe my mind, helps with mindfulness, and brings me joy.

‘To plant a garden is to live for tomorrow’.

I need more in my life than my children to live for. I recognise I need to live for me, and the joy I do deserve. And only I can bring this into my life. I am responsible for ensuring I do what I need to have a better quality of life.

So, I try to keep in balance my family, my passion to help others/advocate for those who have suffered complex trauma, volunteering, socialising a little, plus things that bring me joy…like gardening, craft, swimming. Healthy activities, I enjoy.

Ensuring I do nice things for me today, swimming/hydrotherapy yesterday…. all good things.

The sun is shining, I am about to go and make a cup of coffee, sit on my deck, surrounded by all my pretty plants and fairy stuff…. breathe… and take in the joy that is always there, when I pay attention to it.


Sat with a cup of coffee, my current favourite book ‘The Road Less Travelled’, surrounded by prettiness, peace & quiet, only the sound of the birds…. bliss.



Bargain garden décor $5 …. and so cute.



Part of my healing and therapy….. gardening therapy.



New plants 🙂

Author: Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

I am a survivor of complex and multiple trauma and abuse, who at the age of 40, began my healing journey. I am using my journey to recovery and healing, to help others, to help survivors feel less alone, validated, encouraged and to enable others to understand themselves more. Complex trauma, particularly from severe, prolonged childhood abuse, is profoundly life changing. Complex trauma produces complex adults. The journey to recovery is a painful, often lonely, emotional daily challenge and it is my aim to encourage others in their daily battle. ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

9 thoughts on “Self Care, Boundaries, Balance….. I constantly have to remind myself.

  1. wow . that hits home. self care. I never realized I was not taught self care ! Interesting dealing with the anger , and learning self care at the same time. Great combo . As the memories come rushing in….I start connecting the dots…..decisions I have made.. being in the twilight zone. . mistakes I have made raising my son. .its a daily battle. The limbitrol I take at 7 pm helps .

  2. oh one more thing…….I finally stopped looking for consciousness when there is NONE! I do not need family members to re write history. I do not NEED them for their stamp of approval. They are done Brainwashing me.

  3. I love the three monkey poster ! That’s my family. How did you know what they look like?

  4. Thank you for the reminder. I love the pics you posted! Rest well, Peace to you Lilly ❤️

  5. Beautiful garden to relax in 🙂

  6. I enjoyed visiting your lovely garden.