Self care is something I only embraced within the last few years. Prior to that, my life was a continual unawareness of self care, having never been shown it in the first 20 years of my life. Instead being abused continually, in severe ways.
Now I am aware of self care, boundaries, balance – those terms/concepts/behaviours that can be so alien to many severe, prolonged child abuse survivors, who grew in toxic homes.
I don’t beat myself up about this constant reminder process for self care anymore. I have increasing self compassion. I accept it is an ongoing process, and when I do okay at it… I am glad. When I don’t do okay, I just remind myself gently what I need to be doing instead. I’m getting better at being nice to myself.
Over the last few days, I’ve spent longer on Twitter than I really want to…. so today I am spending a lot less time on there, and I am doing nice things for me.
I’ve been to the gardening centres, bought a few cheap plants and some garden ornaments reduced to $5. I love gardening and it helps soothe my mind, helps with mindfulness, and brings me joy.
‘To plant a garden is to live for tomorrow’.
I need more in my life than my children to live for. I recognise I need to live for me, and the joy I do deserve. And only I can bring this into my life. I am responsible for ensuring I do what I need to have a better quality of life.
So, I try to keep in balance my family, my passion to help others/advocate for those who have suffered complex trauma, volunteering, socialising a little, plus things that bring me joy…like gardening, craft, swimming. Healthy activities, I enjoy.
Ensuring I do nice things for me today, swimming/hydrotherapy yesterday…. all good things.
The sun is shining, I am about to go and make a cup of coffee, sit on my deck, surrounded by all my pretty plants and fairy stuff…. breathe… and take in the joy that is always there, when I pay attention to it.
Sat with a cup of coffee, my current favourite book ‘The Road Less Travelled’, surrounded by prettiness, peace & quiet, only the sound of the birds…. bliss.
Bargain garden décor $5 …. and so cute.
Part of my healing and therapy….. gardening therapy.
New plants 🙂