Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

‘Be the person you needed when you were younger.’ I am. Now.


I am the person I needed when I was younger. Now.

Someone to protect me, believe me, validate me, look after me, stand up for me, have my best interests at heart and not allow anyone to hurt me.

No-one else wanted to be this. So I learned to be this for myself.

I would probably be dead, if I hadn’t become this over the last few years. I had to become all this, to survive the trauma of understanding everything that has happened to me and the further invalidation and shaming I have endured along the way, by others.

I’ve realised fully, the only (human) person I can trust, is me. The only person who has my back, is me. The only person I can rely on, is me. Continue reading

Glad to be reminded “Don’t throw your pearls to swine”.

I was told this 3 years ago by my first counsellor, and it is something that has stuck with me, and I need to remind myself of more.

I was reminded of this recently, by a follower of this blog and I am so thankful for that ❤

dogsThe world has many dogs/swine and I am aware this is ‘their’ issue, not a reflection of me at all and to simply ignore, avoid, block, remove and keep my distance from such people.

Even saw on the Facebook page for the amazing Gosford Anglican Church – who are true social justice seekers and a church I would attend if near… the pastor has been abused and threatened within his own church. Continue reading


Four months jail time, for raping a 9 year old stepdaughter. Gross injustice.


I keep saying, we live an abuser/paedophile/sex offender enabling/protecting society. The legal system is absolutely outrageously pathetic in terms of sentencing those who sexually abuse/violate children.

Four months for raping a 9 year old child. Disgusting.

Thank goodness for advocacy charities like Bravehearts Inc. for tackling these gross injustice’s done to survivors of child sexual violence/abuse.

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I’ve had the abuse & suffering I’ve endured – minimized all my life. I don’t tolerate it anymore.

Having severe, prolonged and repeated abuse/trauma endured – minimized and invalidated by others, is something I have endured all my life.

People who generalise trauma as the same, or minimize child sexual abuse, or compare trauma endured as an adult – to trauma endured as a child etc… simply do not know what they are talking about. They often have selfish and self serving reasons to do this and willingly shame people in the process.

‘Generalising’ and ‘minimizing’ are cognitive distortions I see are familiar within abuse/mental health industry and advocacy field. They shame, re-traumatise and invalidate those who have suffered to greater levels.

There is a very true saying “Opinions are like assholes, everyone has one, and most are full of shit”. So true.

Most opinions are lacking in education, lacking in knowledge, lacking in empathy, lacking in insight. Continue reading


The lack of empathy about child sexual abuse, even within the mental health industry, is appalling.

Child sexual abuse and complex trauma (prolonged/repeated severe trauma/abuse) are both specialised fields where only those experienced, educated and insightful enough, should be treating/counselling anyone. Or writing about it.

I have come to realise how many counsellors/therapists/psychologists etc are no where near trauma/complex trauma informed/educated enough to treat appropriately. Many work well outside of their capability to treat/counsel. They generalise trauma, minimize severe trauma/suffering and re-traumatise survivors all the time and they lack empathy/insight to care/understand. And they shame survivors as a result.

This is really re-traumatising to survivors, many of whom have had the severe abuse minimized when it was occurring, or when they told someone about it.

Severe child abuse survivors, often have their trauma minimized. Many people do not want, or lack empathy to deal with the truth about severe child abuse and severe child sexual abuse.

It is hurtful, upsetting, re-traumatising, triggering and downright dangerous when people minimize severe abuse.

It can push people over the edge and if suicidal, it can cause suicide. Continue reading

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4 Trauma Typology/Responses – Flight, Fight, Freeze, Fawn.


These are really important for PTSD, Complex PTSD and trauma survivors to be aware of. It is only through understanding ourselves, we can begin to heal.