Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

Fragile & unsafe. Staying off social media. Distracting myself.


My past is really haunting me at the moment. I was pretty much suicidal last night. I’m fragile today. I have no support. I’m caring for myself the best I can.

I’m staying off social media, to avoid anymore triggers and emotional pain. I also cannot read any more reports about other severe child sexual abuse cases, because the pain is too intense. I guess this is better self care than I have managed in the past.

I’m distracting myself as best I can. Going outside in my gardens. Reading up on/watching YouTube video’s on propagating plants, which I want to have a go at. Gardening is soothing and comforting to me. Although only barely so, today.

I’ve just had a shower and washed my hair and I’m about to make a cup of tea and watch some TV. I guess that’s self care too.

Distraction is the only way I can cope. It’s the only form of mindfulness I can do when I am this low.

I also cannot fail to realise, I am here again.

At my lowest.


Author: Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

I am a survivor of complex and multiple trauma and abuse, who at the age of 40, began my healing journey. I am using my journey to recovery and healing, to help others, to help survivors feel less alone, validated, encouraged and to enable others to understand themselves more. Complex trauma, particularly from severe, prolonged childhood abuse, is profoundly life changing. Complex trauma produces complex adults. The journey to recovery is a painful, often lonely, emotional daily challenge and it is my aim to encourage others in their daily battle. ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

6 thoughts on “Fragile & unsafe. Staying off social media. Distracting myself.

  1. Please know that you have been a blessing to me. Many years of therapy and many dollars spent with no relief. Your blog has been has been incredibly helpful. You are in my prayers.

  2. I’m so sorry you are alone. I really wish i could be there to help you. Did you ever set up what we talked about. Have you ever got my emails.

  3. I am so sorry. I am at a low place too. And alone.
    So we are together.

  4. Distraction is everything Lilly so keep at it. Do your gardening and find peaceful moments in the small things.You are managing hour by hour and thats all that matters at the moment.Give yourself a pat on the back and congratulate yourself for persevering. I know suffering isn’t fair and you should never have had to deal with any of this.Nobody should have! I wish you peace and sending you lots of love from across the world. You and everyone suffering deserves love, peace & support. ❤

  5. Thank you all ❤

    I really appreciate your messages, so very kind ❤

    I wish none of us were enduring any of this pain and suffering. If being very upfront and honest about my own journey here and how it can actually be, helps anyone else, I am thankful.

    ❤ ❤