Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

I realise I need specialised trauma counselling, to deal with all the sexual abuse.


I know I am going to have to find another counsellor. Only one who specialises in child sexual abuse trauma and exploitation. One who doesn’t shame me.

I’m not coping with the exploitation stuff. I’m not coping with the shame of all the grooming. I’m not coping with trying to do this on my own.

I would rather die, than have to feel any more of this pain.

Again, I’m at that place where it’s only my children keeping me alive.

I’m going to have to find a counsellor, and pay whatever it costs. Because the cost of me not finding suitable counselling and not getting the help I need, could end up being way higher.

Author: Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

I am a survivor of complex and multiple trauma and abuse, who at the age of 40, began my healing journey. I am using my journey to recovery and healing, to help others, to help survivors feel less alone, validated, encouraged and to enable others to understand themselves more. Complex trauma, particularly from severe, prolonged childhood abuse, is profoundly life changing. Complex trauma produces complex adults. The journey to recovery is a painful, often lonely, emotional daily challenge and it is my aim to encourage others in their daily battle. ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

9 thoughts on “I realise I need specialised trauma counselling, to deal with all the sexual abuse.

  1. Dear Lilly…

    I’m a holistic practitioner…and wonder if you have any experience with either Trans Field Therapy, EMDR, Emotional Freedom Technique…or Ericksonian Hypnotherapy? These disciplines are often very helpful with conditions like OCD, phobias and PTSD…much more successful than even the best “regular psychotherapy.”

  2. I truly hope you find someone to help you Lilly. ❤

  3. You now have a clear idea of what you want & don’t want in a therapist which will help you save a lot of time & money finding the right one.

    Many experts say to vigorously interview the therapist. After all you’re hiring them for a job. You’re the employer.

    I’d like to find some one who has read all of Pete Walker’s books because I think they’d be more likely to get it.

    I’m sending lots of prayers that you’ll connect with just the right person!!!!

    • Thank you Jules ❤

      Yes, I will be interviewing any next therapist. I will be checking them out for their understanding of Complex PTSD, the consequences of severe childhood prolonged trauma & multiple complex trauma, what their views on shame are, shame shifting and much more.

      I don't intend being harmed any further.

      • Good for you! It never occurred to me to interview the therapist when I first began therapy, and her method was to basically dismiss the trauma that I had been keeping a secret for 7 YEARS and just “focus on the present”. Right.
        I pray that you find someone competent.

  4. Sending prayers up and good thoughts your way for healing. You are wise to remember your children, I hope that soon you will find joy in life for you! You have so much to live for and I am so sorry that someone abused you and took away your joy in life. I have been there and I just want to say that the joy will come eventually. Never ever settle for a counselor that does not understand your pain. Hugs!

  5. The first step in true healing is to let go of the shame–which was never yours to begin with and find what you need. I had a counselor once who was more interested in converting me to her religion than helping me. Bravo for you taking this step!