Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.


8 of the many unspoken ‘rules’ of highly dysfunctional/toxic/abusive families.

dysfunctional families rules

I am thankful I always knew these ‘rules’ were wrong. And the many more my toxic family of origin chose.

I wasn’t like the rest of my family who went along with it. And despite being the family scapegoat and being made to feel different, I am actually glad I am different. Continue reading


Disclosing child sexual abuse to disordered, dysfunctional, toxic families, often leads to further severe abuse.


Dysfunctional, toxic families/parents etc, often cause further abuse and trauma to children who disclose child sexual abuse. The abuse is often denied, minimized, ignored, trivialised, justified, the child blamed and shamed, and in some cases the sexual abuse is encouraged and enabled.

Child sexual abuse is also emotional, physical, psychological abuse, and when the child is not supported after disclosure, this further abuse is severe neglect and emotional abuse.

The layers of trauma, wounds, shame and neglect within all of this, are profoundly life impacting.

Often survivors of this deep trauma, particularly when it is prolonged child sexual abuse and grooming occurs, need to dissociate to cope/survive. Many mental health and physical health consequences occur from this continual severe fear, anxiety and hypervigilance and severe abuse and violation to the child’s body occurring.

When the child is left unsupported, blamed, shamed etc when disclosing, the trauma intensifies.

The child’s world is shattered.

The child’s sense of any safety, is shattered.

The child’s sense of the world being good, is shattered.

The child’s sense of trust in people, is shattered.

The child’s sense of self and identity, is shattered. Continue reading


My husband thinks I should go to counselling tomorrow.

My counsellor has been away for a month on holiday. Prior to that, I had become really annoyed at the continual ‘shaming’ of being made to feel like I am not good enough and a bad person, because I do not think about predators/perpetrators of severe prolonged abuse, exactly as she does.

I’m increasingly aware of ‘shame shifting’ from perpetrator to victim. I’ve always instinctively known this is very wrong and I refuse to be ‘shamed’ any further. I have an appropriate thought process, for predators, paedophiles, sex offenders, and other such people.

I don’t believe in revenge, karma, retaliation, them being abused back. Because all that is wrong. And I’ve never wanted any of that. I don’t condemn them, I don’t want them to ‘burn in hell’. My opinions are actually far more ‘compassionate’ than many in society who do believe in retaliation being required, think paedophiles/predators should be hurt back, given the death penalty etc. I don’t.

But, I also believe for those who choose to make people suffer, particularly children, and are likely to do it again (which is most of them), they need to be in prison. The rights and safety of children are more important than the rights of offenders, who are mostly pathological liars.

I do not believe in demanding victims having to have compassion or forgiveness for those who intentionally harmed them in such vile, disgusting and horrendous ways, and especially when they have no remorse/empathy/conscience.

Demanding this, is shame shifting. To suggest survivors are ‘bad people’ for not forgiving/having compassion is shame/blame shifting. So very wrong.

Considering all I have been through, the very fact that I cringe when I hear of any prisoner being beaten up (regardless of what they have done) – sex offenders, paedophiles, those who sexually exploit children – and I do wish for their sakes they were not people who enjoy making others/children suffer, I still remain very aware of the choices they choose to make. Repeatedly. That is choosing evil.

I’m aware my counsellor believes she is right, and needs to think the way she does so she can be seen/feel she is ‘professional’ as a doctor/counsellor. And it makes her feel like a good Christian. Her constant need to project her opinion about predators/offenders and how she feels about them etc… is simply nothing more than her opinion. Continue reading

Must get my book finished & published. Especially as I have so much support from professionals.

I’m aware, I have a lot of support from professionals, in the trauma / mental health / PTSD field.

I am aware of the need for more info about Complex Trauma & Complex PTSD to be out there, to validate other survivors, provide info and education from a sufferer perspective.

And I am a multiple complex trauma survivor, with much experience of different types of complex trauma and trauma which includes every type of abuse. And complex trauma is still a relatively new field of psychology and I have had many professionals confirm they have learned from my blog and website, to better help their clients. That is really important and significant. Continue reading