Dysfunctional, toxic families/parents etc, often cause further abuse and trauma to children who disclose child sexual abuse. The abuse is often denied, minimized, ignored, trivialised, justified, the child blamed and shamed, and in some cases the sexual abuse is encouraged and enabled.
Child sexual abuse is also emotional, physical, psychological abuse, and when the child is not supported after disclosure, this further abuse is severe neglect and emotional abuse.
The layers of trauma, wounds, shame and neglect within all of this, are profoundly life impacting.
Often survivors of this deep trauma, particularly when it is prolonged child sexual abuse and grooming occurs, need to dissociate to cope/survive. Many mental health and physical health consequences occur from this continual severe fear, anxiety and hypervigilance and severe abuse and violation to the child’s body occurring.
When the child is left unsupported, blamed, shamed etc when disclosing, the trauma intensifies.
The child’s world is shattered.
The child’s sense of any safety, is shattered.
The child’s sense of the world being good, is shattered.
The child’s sense of trust in people, is shattered.
The child’s sense of self and identity, is shattered.
The child’s sense of attachment and connection to people, is shattered.
And so much more. This does not end when the child, becomes an adult. It continues.
Many children and adult survivors, end their lives due to child sexual abuse and being raised in toxic, disordered families. Suicide due to childhood sexual abuse, is more common than is realised.
For those who continue surviving – the severely neglected child sexual (plus emotional/physical/psychological) abuse survivor – further shaming and blaming, minimizing and invalidating by others, continues to deepen the core wounds and the adult survivor’s lack of self worth and self esteem.
I see and know clearly how desperately painful all this is.
It breaks my heart for every survivor who has endured all this.
August 4, 2015 at 1:20 am
Everything I read is True. Let me tell you this. My so called mother.was in a home for over 15 years. She developed dementia in her early 70.s .Died 85. As far as I am concerned she Got what she deserved. We never know what tomorrow brings….but her self centered egotistical life, she never protected me…….caught up with her.
August 4, 2015 at 10:40 am
I’m so sorry you were so badly abused and neglected by your mother. I know how painful this is and the life impacting consequences. I validate that.
Please know, I care about you, value you and want only good things for you Charlie.
❤
August 4, 2015 at 4:46 pm
This post is extremely validating for me because it so accurately describes the damage I’ve suffered and the ongoing trauma as an adult by parents & siblings who invalidate my reality in order to make it easier for them.
The narcissism never ends.
Once you’re the designated family scapegoat as a child it never stops.
My mother intentionally played her kids against each other. She would tell one that another said things they never said. Then slither around in the back ground smiling when they got upset with each other.
Narcissism is a choice. She chose to intentionally do these things and be a narcissist.