Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

One of those overwhelming teary, spiritual Jesus situations happened today.


At the food bank I volunteer at, a guy has attended a few times. He’s a lovely guy, 6ft 10, openly gay and a drag queen. He’s got multi-coloured hair and I ensured each time I have seen him, that he feels very welcome. The first time I met this guy, there was something about him, that I knew was special. Now I know why.

Today, he opened up and spoke to myself and the chairperson of the food bank service (who is a former pastor who no longer attends church)… about his life. He was brought up in church, was a former worship leader and has spoken at Hillsong, but only because they did not know he is gay. He spoke about his work and all he does helping others. He then spoke about faith, his understanding of the Bible and how church people abuse it to hurt gay people. He spoke of the persecution he has endured, having Bipolar, but also the blessings and miracles that have also been a part of his journey.

Both myself and the chairperson (who understands not being a stage 3 faith person too), ensured he knew he was welcome, among friends and that we do not have the same issues many church people have with gay people.

Listening to his story was emotionally and spiritually huge and I felt such a blessing to speak with this man who ‘gets it’. Who spiritually gets it and understands Jesus’ love.

I related a little to the church abuse, although for different reasons. Related to the abuse he has endured in his life, why he doesn’t attend church and his mental health journey. And I know there is more to his story. He spoke of that and said he would like to sit with us, with a cup of tea and chat with us about it one day.

It was a huge moment and one I felt very privileged to be a part of.

As myself and the chairperson guy said goodbye, walked back into the hall… we both said ‘he gets it’. I said this soul is the kind of soul I would like as a friend, because it would be privilege. I said he is no doubt a nicer and a more ‘Jesus like’ person, than most of the ‘church people’ I have known.

As we were speaking about the wonderful understanding of how this man has been through so much, yet ‘gets it’ and ‘gets Jesus’ I became really emotional and ended up in tears, much to my embarrassment. But the chairperson guy, knew why I was overwhelmed and emotional. Said how he knows this story and this soul and his spiritual journey is an amazing one, and that he knew it resonates in some ways, with mine.

It’s hard to explain why this was all so emotional – but it was. In a wonderful way.

A gay, drag queen, ‘gets’ Jesus in a way so many church people never do. Thank you Jesus for your love for this soul and his journey!

It was truly awesome to see. And I don’t use the word ‘awesome’ lightly. I rarely use that word. But, this was a truly awesome Jesus, real faith, conversation.

I thought I was volunteering at this food bank, to help people with food. It has turned out to be so much more than that. Jesus ❤

Author: Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

I am a survivor of complex and multiple trauma and abuse, who at the age of 40, began my healing journey. I am using my journey to recovery and healing, to help others, to help survivors feel less alone, validated, encouraged and to enable others to understand themselves more. Complex trauma, particularly from severe, prolonged childhood abuse, is profoundly life changing. Complex trauma produces complex adults. The journey to recovery is a painful, often lonely, emotional daily challenge and it is my aim to encourage others in their daily battle. ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

2 thoughts on “One of those overwhelming teary, spiritual Jesus situations happened today.

  1. Thank you so much for sharing this with us!! This has a ripple effect because reading this moved me so much and caused me to feel & experience Jesus more than I have in a very long time due to trauma I suffered from church abusers.

    If possible please tell this man that his story is being heard around the world and he is healing others!!

    • I am so thankful this blog has helped you Jules ❤

      It was such a huge experience and I praise God for this man and his openness and his journey and willingness to want to share it.

      I don't think a lot of church people even realise how abusive they can be, and why. They are so deluded and deceived. For some it is very intentional abuse though. I don't condone any of it. Abuse is abuse and never okay.

      To hear this man and part of his testimony, was wonderful and I know there will be so much more to his story. I hope I will be able to hear it.