At my last conversation with my counsellor, she told me my capacity to think on many levels, and hold many different appropriate trains of thoughts about horrendous situations, plus all the appropriate emotions that go with them, is rare. And it has been said to me, my capacity to deal with the truth and the reality of my past, is very courageous and is not a path many choose to take.
One of the many different trains of thoughts I have, and understanding I have, is my abusers’ mental health and past history are not an excuse for the choices they made to abuse/harm me. They all knew right from wrong. It was all intentional. Over periods of years. It was deliberate, planned and they enjoyed it. Their mental health was not an excuse. Their past possible abuse, was not an excuse. They may have been contributing factors. But, they were in no way excuses. They still made choices to do what was wrong. Knowing it was abuse. And it was horrific abuse. Continue reading