This applies to anyone who you know cannot be in your life and where you are able to have no contact. This applies to toxic/unhealthy/abusive family, friends, ex’s.
If they continue to be toxic, there is no need to keep them in your life in any way. We don’t need to be martyrs to people who cause us harm, where they have no intention of ceasing causing harm. To stay in contact and continue to be harmed, is an act of emotional self harm. Continue reading
This research tells us that what doesn’t kill you doesn’t necessarily make you stronger; far more often, the opposite is true.
Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) (link is external)—which include emotional or physical neglect; verbal humiliation; growing up with an addicted or mentally ill family member; and parental abandonment, divorce, or loss — can harm developing brains, predisposing them to autoimmune disease, heart disease, cancer, depression, and a number of other chronic conditions, decades after the trauma took place.
Adult survivors of child abuse and trauma, are often given the message that we are supposed to be ‘stronger’ as a result of what has happened to us. Of course, this is for everyone else’s benefit, not the survivors.
Fact is, severe child abuse often does not make the survivor stronger and it is shame inducing to demand it should. Continue reading
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