Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.


“Those who don’t remember the past are condemned to repeat it”…

“Those who don’t remember the past are condemned to repeat it” – George Santayana.

I see this is very true in some people. Those who don’t remember, because either they were too young to remember, are too dissociated to remember, or are in plain denial.

The past – in childhood – affects who you are as an adult. Fact. I sadly see clearly the differences between myself and my siblings, who both fit all the above.

If you don’t remember, or choose not to remember, or just stay in denial, avoid, minimize, excuse abuse….. life is considered easier. And anyone who questions that coping strategy, will be vehemently attacked, called a liar.

Denial ain’t just a river in Egypt.

It is easier to attack the truth teller, the scapegoat, than face reality. It’s ‘safer’ for some people to stay in denial. And watch out anyone who threatens that. Healthy, strong boundaries are needed from such people.

It also baffles me, how people who were too young to know what was occurring, or were not even there, did not personally witness abuse ….can make such strong statements of the person being the liar. Continue reading


Treated myself to an adult colouring book :)

Went to the shopping centre today, for the first time in weeks. While there, I spotted all the adult colouring books now readily available. They have become so popular.

Until now, I have purchased children’s colouring books, but these adult ones are definitely better.

So, I treated myself to one ūüôā

This one has famous quotes in it and I spotted ones by Carl Jung, C.S.Lewis.


Colouring-in, has great benefits for stress relief, anxiety reduction, mindfulness and are also great for inner child healing. Continue reading


Life is …. dare I say…. far more peaceful.

Overall, things are pretty peaceful. As far as peaceful goes in my life. I have times of grieving, but on the whole, it’s pretty calm, pretty peaceful, pretty okay.

I’m trying not to expect something shitty will come along and screw it up. I realise I am not used to this. So, it feels weird. Feels a little concerning…. I realise this is not healthy thoughts. This is based upon fear, and the good ole PTSD issues of expecting the worst to happen. Understandably, because a lot of ‘the worst has already happened’. I’m sure there is a more technical psychology term for this fear of more (bad shit) coming. ¬†but right now I can’t remember it. And I can’t even be bothered to look it up.

Life has it’s usual issues occurring….. I still have PTSD symptoms, but they are managed. I am a parent…. of a teenager…. that is not easy, but I expect it to have it’s challenges. My husband is doing better on his medication and is easier to live with and I’m happy for him. People are still people and I still observe it all.

I have my children and our family life. I have¬†some¬†friends¬†I spend time with. I have counselling and that seems better atm, since I spoke up about what I will and will not tolerate. I have my gardening. I have volunteering. It’s enough for me atm.

I’ve cut down on social media time and the less I put myself in situations where unhealthy¬†issues/people occur, the¬†more peaceful my¬†life is.

Life is okay at the moment, and I hope it stays that way. Continue reading


The sexualisation of girls/children, so blatant, even at the shopping centre.

At the shopping centre today, getting haircuts for my boys. Right in the middle, a dance centre group of girls, dancing for the public.

Fishnet tights, short skirts, faces full of make up, hair like adults. Made me feel so sad to see. These girls were as young as 9, 10 years old. And their parents were encouraging, allowing and enabling them to look like adults and wear provocative clothing.

I truly wish parents would not sexualise their daughters in this way Continue reading

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Delighted with a gift of a cubic metre of garden mulch :)

I’ve never been someone who needs materialistic gifts, or grandiose offerings. I don’t need or want expensive jewellery. I don’t want money wasted on items that won’t last, or are¬†meaningless to me.¬†I don’t need or want grandiose offerings.

I’ve never chosen gold jewellery, preferring silver. I would happily wear fake diamonds, I don’t want real ones. I do not want to follow the sheep and ‘have to have’ the latest xyz.¬†I don’t wear brand clothing. I don’t care about fashion, or whatever is the latest, newest trend. To me, it’s all a¬†waste of money. We don’t waste money on bought shop cards.¬†I’m happy and content to have a cheap meal out to celebrate an anniversary and would prefer that, to some flash restaurant. I buy cheap clothes and cheap jewellery and love op-shopping.

And it’s not because I am tight with money. I am a really giving person, who loves to think of thoughtful gifts for others. I gave two plants to a friend the other day, because I know she loves plants and is new at gardening like myself. I choose to consider thoughtful gifts. I’m often giving stuff away to people who need it more. I also love to give my time, heart, energy and thought, to people, as this matters more than materialistic items. I also donate fortnightly to charities and want¬†volunteer. There are many ways to ‘give’ to others.

There is a lot I have never really needed, that I have always known for me is meaningless. I want it even less now. I want the more thoughtful, bigger picture, deeper stuff.

I don’t ‘need’ ‘stuff’ to boost my self esteem, or to validate my identity, or worth. And I do not care about image or what others think of me, in terms of shallow focusses. Continue reading