Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

I don’t demand people agree with my views, but I do have standards I require from people in my life.


People who are not mature in their emotional development, demand others agree with them. I don’t. I expect many people to disagree with my views, because I don’t follow along with the masses. Immature people believe we should tolerate anything. I don’t. The wise know what is to be tolerated and what isn’t. The wise know what is contributing to and encouraging all the problems occurring in this world. And those with integrity and empathy, don’t ignore this.

People will demand non tolerance for some behaviours, is judgment. People always use that go to label, when they hear something different to what they want to believe, that causes cognitive dissonance. I am at that stage where I don’t care whether someone may be ‘judging me’. I’m past that now.

I do insist on those in my life having standards that mean they do not consistently harm others and are not illegal. And I will speak up against harm caused to others and society’s shallow needs, because I see the bigger picture issues. I don’t only see and care about how something affects me. I see the many layered issues of situations.

I won’t be an apath and avoid harm and suffering in this world, to make my life easier. I have too much integrity for that.

I won’t apply the ‘tolerate everything’ attitude, because I know how unwise this is.

When you are secure in yourself, your growth, your understanding of humanity and behaviours, your insight, you know you will receive resistance, ignorance, defensiveness and people demanding you only see it their way. I expect that. And I have patience with this, because I know and see the issues others have that causes their behaviours, their reactions etc.

I don’t personalise other people’s issues any longer. But, I see clearly when people are. I used to, so having reflected and grown, I see when others haven’t. Patience is needed, but encouraging people to grow is also needed. But, I don’t demand growth, or people agree with my views, because I am realist.

Having standards, having expectations from those in your life, are not wrong. They are wise.

And I keep in mind, my continual mantra is needed combined with all this ………. balance, boundaries and self care.

Author: Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

I am a survivor of complex and multiple trauma and abuse, who at the age of 40, began my healing journey. I am using my journey to recovery and healing, to help others, to help survivors feel less alone, validated, encouraged and to enable others to understand themselves more. Complex trauma, particularly from severe, prolonged childhood abuse, is profoundly life changing. Complex trauma produces complex adults. The journey to recovery is a painful, often lonely, emotional daily challenge and it is my aim to encourage others in their daily battle. ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

2 thoughts on “I don’t demand people agree with my views, but I do have standards I require from people in my life.

  1. I have been looking for the words but I have never had them….you have said it perfectly, beautifully, absolutely describing the way I feel! The first paragraph in particular. I will not plaigerize but I might quote you as a friend said….
    Thank you