Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.


Finding a ‘suspended coffee’ cafe.

suspended coffee

I’m a big fan of ‘suspended coffee’ – where you can pre-purchase drinks, food etc for homeless people. I so thankful for cafe’s and restaurants etc, participating in this.

I’ve just come across one that is also a book café and serves nice, reasonably priced food too, looking at the website and facebook page. Will check it out after the school holidays and if the ambience is nice and the food/coffee good, it might become a favourite coffee stop.


A plan to help domestic violence survivors & help raise a positive profile of local police…

Where I live, the media has unfairly reported the (all) police don’t do as much as they can to help DV survivors, resulting in deaths. Of course this is an overgeneralisation of police. The police are constrained within the limitations of current legislation and resources available. It is that needing changing far more, than concern about police attitudes to DV.

So, I have been wanting to add to my homeless collections/donations of non perishable goods, and include domestic violence survivors. To help in the ways I am capable.

I am understanding of just how difficult it can be to leave a DV relationship and face all the many challenges and how hard it can be with children involved. The legal system is a nightmare, victims are often blamed/shamed, resources are limited, support can be scarce. Especially in this increasing society view of ‘minding your own business’ = only care about yourself and your own needs, lack of community and people not wanting to help others, lack of compassion.

I had an idea, of setting up a donations box at my husbands police station and co-ordinating with a local domestic violence shelter, to donate the items collected at regular intervals. Continue reading


Rational thinking, self honesty and deep thought…. seems so hard for so many.

I’m a realist. I accept humanity finds self insight, self honesty hard, and cognitive distortions easy. It requires a lot less thought, a lot less honesty.

People justify their issues, views, no matter how irrational…. anyway they can.

It’s easier to hold on to irrational views…. than have the courage to face it and consider the irrationality. Harder to face the truth. In fact, most people don’t even think about whether their thinking is rational, or unhealthy. They automatically assume it is healthy.

I learned young how people can have very unhealthy thinking. I challenged my own. Courage, discernment, depth of thinking capacity are required for this.

‘Karma’ is one clear example of irrational thinking. I studied Buddhism in my later 20’s, and I knew then it was irrational to believe in karma, reincarnation etc. There is no rational thinking about karma. It is magical thinking. A cognitive distortion. I have the psychology understanding to put to what I worked out myself over 15 years ago. But, so many people believe it to be true.

Just because you want to believe something, does not make it true. Continue reading


People in my life now, are not responsible for being what I needed as a child.

I realise a lot of prolonged child abuse survivors, who had toxic, abusive, neglectful parents did not receive the care and parenting needed and deserved. And those needs continue on into adulthood. They did for me. I subconsciously wanted people to ‘make up’ for the family I never had. The loving, safe, parents… I never had.

I realised through my healing, I had been searching for people to be my parents, throughout adulthood. I subconsciously saw people as potential ‘parents’ and others as potential ‘siblings’ etc.  Those needs never fulfilled, don’t just go away when you become 18. They continue on and I am honest to know this.

Once I realised this, I also realised I could not expect anyone to ‘look after me’ or be the family I never had. The only people who could be parents, siblings, were my own and that did not happen for me. The parenting I needed as a child, could only be within my childhood. But, it didn’t happen. I have accepted this.

I am not a child now. I am an adult. I don’t need parenting by others and I realised some time back, no-one else can be expected to be my parent.

So I learned to parent myself. I did a lot of inner child healing, myself. Continue reading