I realise a lot of prolonged child abuse survivors, who had toxic, abusive, neglectful parents did not receive the care and parenting needed and deserved. And those needs continue on into adulthood. They did for me. I subconsciously wanted people to ‘make up’ for the family I never had. The loving, safe, parents… I never had.
I realised through my healing, I had been searching for people to be my parents, throughout adulthood. I subconsciously saw people as potential ‘parents’ and others as potential ‘siblings’ etc. Those needs never fulfilled, don’t just go away when you become 18. They continue on and I am honest to know this.
Once I realised this, I also realised I could not expect anyone to ‘look after me’ or be the family I never had. The only people who could be parents, siblings, were my own and that did not happen for me. The parenting I needed as a child, could only be within my childhood. But, it didn’t happen. I have accepted this.
I am not a child now. I am an adult. I don’t need parenting by others and I realised some time back, no-one else can be expected to be my parent.
So I learned to parent myself. I did a lot of inner child healing, myself. Continue reading →
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