Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

It is very freeing, to not emotionally ‘need’ people.


When you don’t ‘need’ people, it becomes very freeing. I choose to be around people and have connections, but I cherish my own company. I cherish my time alone and need that, more than connections to people.

I am obviously around my husband and we parent our children and have our family. So there are practical, family level needs. But, other than our children and gardening, we have nothing else in common and we are very different people. I don’t have a soul/emotional connection with him, due to our vast differences. I care about him, but I don’t ‘need’ him.

I have some friends and I enjoy their company and I am interested in their lives and their needs. But, I don’t require or need anything back. And I don’t expect anything back.

I enjoy volunteering, because I know it is helping others in a way they need, not what I need. It’s important to me, to help people who are in need… the marginalised, the oppressed, the abused, the needy, the elderly etc.

I no longer need counselling. My first counsellor told me I do most of my own healing/counselling and she was right. That continued on and everything I have needed to heal, I worked out for myself. I don’t need any validation of what I know and feel, my discernment and my capacity for deep thought.

I am secure in my understanding of myself, my journey and of humanity.

I’ve always been very independent and very resourceful, since being a child. It gave me levels of inner strength needed, to be alone. I’ve been alone all my life, even whilst surrounded by people. I used to hate this disconnection from people. The aloneness. Felt this huge part of my life missing, due to the hole in my soul where a caring loving, family should have been. It made me feel deeply flawed, deeply weird, terribly unloved and very different. I hated that. But now I know who I am Continue reading

I love Australia for many reasons, but I don’t love….

I was born here in this beautiful country of Australia. I love the weather, the outdoor lifestyle, the beauty of the land, and many other wonderful Australian delights.

What I do not love are the all too often overt prejudices (racism, homophobia, misogyny etc), I see flaunted continually. I do not like what is behind this – lack of empathy, lack of conscience, lack of compassion, narcissism, entitlement and really shallow thought processes.

I do not like the cruelty Australia is enabling to asylum seekers.

I do not like the deeply widespread issues of domestic violence and child abuse.

I do not like the so called Christians promoting/enabling/encouraging all this.

Australia is really stuck in a time warp. And I don’t have to like any of this, or ignore it, or avoid it. I’m not selfish and I don’t believe in apathy. I have too much integrity, empathy and courage for that. Continue reading