Sometimes I wonder if I expect others who are important in my life, to have the same standards I set myself. To think with the same depth as myself and to be honest. I do allow people to mess up and I do forgive them. I know I mess up too. But I struggle with it being repeated harm, in particular dishonesty, lies etc.
But, I have also worked really hard on not being someone who has toxic people in my life, as has happened already so much throughout my life. I know that not allowing myself to be mistreated now, is my responsibility. I know I’ve ignored so many red flags repeatedly in the past and stayed within relationships and situations far longer than was healthy. And with really harmful results.
I’m really confused, sad, emotional and I know I don’t think clearly when like this. But, I can’t stop this nagging feeling that I am too hard on people. And I’ve been told I’m too hard on myself, so maybe I expect too much from others too.
Or maybe I’m not, and grown adults should be trustworthy and to just stay away from those who prove they aren’t. Because if I don’t, I’m just simply repeating previous life situations, where I got really hurt.