When you are surrounded by evil, with not a single person to rely on, not a single person there for you in any healthy way… it is indeed a type of hell on earth.
My childhood was ‘living in the garden of evil’. Evil was occurring continually. Ongoing intentional abuse, sexual abuse, sexual exploitation, is evil.
I survived every kind of ongoing, severe abuse occurring, from those who were supposed to love, protect and cherish me. Endured the worst forms of betrayal. It should have killed me, and nearly has, many times.
I don’t minimise this anymore. I also do not justify or condone what any of these people did. I don’t make excuses for them. Not anymore. I validate, understand the depths of the harm caused, and the severe issues of those who caused it, condoned it, enabled it. And how deeply wrong all that was/is.
I have indeed climbed mountains, requiring great courage and no matter the issues that have occurred within my counselling, that courage has been validated, repeatedly.
And I use everything, to try and help others along my healing journey.
It’s never been only about me. I’m only too aware of the amount of survivors, who know this journey, or similar and my heart hurts for all.
However long each mountain takes to climb, is okay with me.
No shame required.