Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

The first 20 years of my life, was surviving hell on earth.


When you are surrounded by evil, with not a single person to rely on, not a single person there for you in any healthy way… it is indeed a type of hell on earth.

My childhood was ‘living in the garden of evil’. Evil was occurring continually. Ongoing intentional abuse, sexual abuse, sexual exploitation, is evil.

I survived every kind of ongoing, severe abuse occurring, from those who were supposed to love, protect and cherish me. Endured the worst forms of betrayal. It should have killed me, and nearly has, many times.

I don’t minimise this anymore. I also do not justify or condone what any of these people did. I don’t make excuses for them. Not anymore. I validate, understand the depths of the harm caused, and the severe issues of those who caused it, condoned it, enabled it. And how deeply wrong all that was/is.

I have indeed climbed mountains, requiring great courage and no matter the issues that have occurred within my counselling, that courage has been validated, repeatedly.

And I use everything, to try and help others along my healing journey.

It’s never been only about me. I’m only too aware of the amount of survivors, who know this journey, or similar and my heart hurts for all.

However long each mountain takes to climb, is okay with me.

No shame required.

thrown into hell

Author: Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

I am a survivor of complex and multiple trauma and abuse, who at the age of 40, began my healing journey. I am using my journey to recovery and healing, to help others, to help survivors feel less alone, validated, encouraged and to enable others to understand themselves more. Complex trauma, particularly from severe, prolonged childhood abuse, is profoundly life changing. Complex trauma produces complex adults. The journey to recovery is a painful, often lonely, emotional daily challenge and it is my aim to encourage others in their daily battle.

2 thoughts on “The first 20 years of my life, was surviving hell on earth.

  1. Dear Lilly,
    I do not comment often, but I read every post and I can relate. You are in my thoughts and I thank you. Bless you.

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