Resigned acceptance of knowing a part of me, will always be alone.

September 30, 2015 by Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD 4 Comments

My first counsellor told me no-one can be trusted 100%. It was a shock to me then, because trust and honesty are two things I had been searching for in others my entire life, until that point. This being due to the highly toxic environment I was raised in, where I was very alone.

Despite still subconsciously wanting to trust people and trying to do that over the last few years, I do now know 100%, no-one can be trusted. The only person I can trust and rely on, is myself. And I only need myself to trust.

It’s been a process, consolidated by recent events, that have led to me to this resigned acceptance.

It’s sad, but I am someone who wants to deal in reality. And the reality for me is, without trust there is no safety. Without safety, I cannot get close, or share my most inner thoughts/needs. It very much keeps a part of who I am, alone.

But, alone is something I am used to and have also resigned myself to being.

And life goes on.