I am always so sad to hear someone has died by (apparent) suicide. Seeing Jim Carrey’s post – “a kind and delicate flower, too sensitive for this soil, for whom loving and being loved was all that sparkled”, made me emotional.
I see from Cathriona’s last tweets, some telling words. Wanting to be a light for others, whilst obviously in so much pain. The endless search in the desert, wanting the faeries to come and take her away. I don’t know her childhood, or her life story, or any mental health issues. But, I know there will be a story.
I understand on a certain level how this feels. I’m so sad she felt this pain, enough to want to end her life. But, I get it. I’m aware if it weren’t for my children, I would not be here.
Some people feel so deeply, see so much, think so deeply and it can be so overwhelming and so painful.
I am at a point of consistently knowing I have reasons to live, and not just for my children. It’s taken 44 years. I have found joy outside and away from people. I have dealt with and processed past trauma enough to manage the emotions and consequences of it, better. I am so thankful I have been able to do this.
But, I have such compassion for those who feel unable to continue living and feel the pain is too unbearable. Because I have been there. Many times. I know that pain and I truly wish no-one else ever had to feel it.