Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

Not ‘needing’ people, is an unusual place to be at.


My capacity for being alone, for completely looking after myself with no help from others, to not rely on, or need people emotionally, has given me such depths of resilience and independence. I used to hate being alone, now I cherish it.

I do need people on a practical level for some things, but even then my capacity for taking care of myself physically and the levels of resourcefulness I have needed throughout my life…. are pretty deep.

I see people who are needy for others, a lot. And I’m not saying that is wrong at all, but different to myself.

I do have connections to people, people I care about and choose to spend time with, for various reasons. But I don’t need people. I help people, but rarely receive anything back that is needed and meaningful for me and who I am.

My first counsellor said to me “you will always be someone who can give so much more than you will receive back”. She was right. She is wise woman.

I think having spent the majority of your life, completely alone (alone even when surrounded by people), it gives you that depth of resourcefulness and awareness of the necessity of learning to be alone.

When you can be truly content with being alone, you have gained a level of maturity and growth, not found without it.

Author: Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

I am a survivor of complex and multiple trauma and abuse, who at the age of 40, began my healing journey. I am using my journey to recovery and healing, to help others, to help survivors feel less alone, validated, encouraged and to enable others to understand themselves more. Complex trauma, particularly from severe, prolonged childhood abuse, is profoundly life changing. Complex trauma produces complex adults. The journey to recovery is a painful, often lonely, emotional daily challenge and it is my aim to encourage others in their daily battle. ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

3 thoughts on “Not ‘needing’ people, is an unusual place to be at.

  1. Being alone. I have been alone…All my life up until now at the age of 50. Psychopathic father and the youngest of eight children. I left my husband when I was pregnant (almost 10 months..yes almost 10 months) with my second daughter. I had a C section. My other daughter was a toddler. I HAD NO HELP FINANCIALLY. I HAD NO HELP PHYSICALLY. I HAD NO HELP EMOTIONALLY. I raised my two girls ALONE Literally in all aspects. I did not have a husband helping me in ANY WAY WHAT SO EVER!!!!. I live in a working city in Edmonton Alberta Canada….oil and gas. I have ZERO friends. I have CPTSD. I am a grandmother. I am estranged from my girls as my P ex poised them for any many years.
    I work 10 1/2 hrs.per day 5 or six days per week. I live alone. My oldest has a 4 yr old and my youngest has a 15 day old daughter.
    My story and history is very long Lily. I do not have the gift of writing like you.

    I am 50 years old. I gave NOT met ANYONE that has been through as much in my life as me…NEVER!


  2. Girl you have no idea what it is like being alone…Others like myself have not to their story yet like you. Some day You will hear my story. I am COMPLETELY alone. Financially emotionally etc etc
    You have NO IDEA!!!