My capacity for being alone, for completely looking after myself with no help from others, to not rely on, or need people emotionally, has given me such depths of resilience and independence. I used to hate being alone, now I cherish it.
I do need people on a practical level for some things, but even then my capacity for taking care of myself physically and the levels of resourcefulness I have needed throughout my life…. are pretty deep.
I see people who are needy for others, a lot. And I’m not saying that is wrong at all, but different to myself.
I do have connections to people, people I care about and choose to spend time with, for various reasons. But I don’t need people. I help people, but rarely receive anything back that is needed and meaningful for me and who I am.
My first counsellor said to me “you will always be someone who can give so much more than you will receive back”. She was right. She is wise woman.
I think having spent the majority of your life, completely alone (alone even when surrounded by people), it gives you that depth of resourcefulness and awareness of the necessity of learning to be alone.
When you can be truly content with being alone, you have gained a level of maturity and growth, not found without it.