My capacity for being alone, for completely looking after myself with no help from others, to not rely on, or need people emotionally, has given me such depths of resilience and independence. I used to hate being alone, now I cherish it.
I do need people on a practical level for some things, but even then my capacity for taking care of myself physically and the levels of resourcefulness I have needed throughout my life…. are pretty deep.
I see people who are needy for others, a lot. And I’m not saying that is wrong at all, but different to myself.
I do have connections to people, people I care about and choose to spend time with, for various reasons. But I don’t need people. I help people, but rarely receive anything back that is needed and meaningful for me and who I am.
My first counsellor said to me “you will always be someone who can give so much more than you will receive back”. She was right. She is wise woman.
I think having spent the majority of your life, completely alone (alone even when surrounded by people), it gives you that depth of resourcefulness and awareness of the necessity of learning to be alone.
When you can be truly content with being alone, you have gained a level of maturity and growth, not found without it.
Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD 
October 1, 2015 at 11:47 am
Being alone. I have been alone…All my life up until now at the age of 50. Psychopathic father and the youngest of eight children. I left my husband when I was pregnant (almost 10 months..yes almost 10 months) with my second daughter. I had a C section. My other daughter was a toddler. I HAD NO HELP FINANCIALLY. I HAD NO HELP PHYSICALLY. I HAD NO HELP EMOTIONALLY. I raised my two girls ALONE Literally in all aspects. I did not have a husband helping me in ANY WAY WHAT SO EVER!!!!. I live in a working city in Edmonton Alberta Canada….oil and gas. I have ZERO friends. I have CPTSD. I am a grandmother. I am estranged from my girls as my P ex poised them for any many years.
I work 10 1/2 hrs.per day 5 or six days per week. I live alone. My oldest has a 4 yr old and my youngest has a 15 day old daughter.
My story and history is very long Lily. I do not have the gift of writing like you.
I am 50 years old. I gave NOT met ANYONE that has been through as much in my life as me…NEVER!
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October 1, 2015 at 12:10 pm
Girl you have no idea what it is like being alone…Others like myself have not to their story yet like you. Some day You will hear my story. I am COMPLETELY alone. Financially emotionally etc etc
You have NO IDEA!!!
October 2, 2015 at 7:25 am
Marlene, I do know what it is like to be completely alone and I have been through times in my life where I have been completely alone.
Please do not assume you know my life, unless you have read all my blogs, to know all I have endured.
❤